We need to talk about Apu

So this has come around again, Apu from the Simpsons is apparently voiced by a white guy.  Specifically Hank Azaria who is the voice of chief Wiggum among others (Wiki says  Superintendant Chalmers too, he of the enjoyable luncheon meme) but not Mr Burns as I originally thought. Apparently being a white guy and voicing an Indian character is bad mmkay and you should really give it to an Indian guy because current year and such.

It was always an odd thing to see Apu growing up.   Him behind the Kwik E Mart counter was such an English thing, as there is always an Indian run Corner Shop here.  I never saw any Indians on US TV growing up (what imports we got back then), never any allusions to curry or any other south Asian cuisine and certainly never any Gurdwara or Hindu Temple let alone a small shrine to Ganesh that Apu has in his shop 

I didn't really care about this to begin with, as to be honest, the Simpsons has been dead to me for ages.  Its gone from a definite stop everything and tune in to Sky One at 6:30 to a gradual levelling off of interest, to plain indifference once the new season comes on Sky.  In fact replace Simpsons with Sky one and you'd have my reaction to the channel itself but that's beyond the point.

To be honest Apu was one of my favourite characters along with comic book guy and Lionel Hutz (voiced by the much missed Phil Hartman) he was always treated fairly and off all the characters seemed to have the better deal.  I grew up around a big Indian community and hung out with the kids at school and  no one really gave a fuck about his race or that.  (they mainly argued religion and the perennial shitness of the England cricket team as a bonus I learned a few curse words in Urdu which is nice).  Its only recently that its become a problem, and which I give you this conundrum.

Even if you get an Asian guy in to voice act, you'll have to keep his accent the same.  Because if you weren't born here (and I remember the episode where Apu takes his citizenship test) you'll keep your accent no matter what.   His kids though should be more American than the Americans as they're born here, just like it is in real life.

Look daddy, Its a scary round up.

Yes indeed a scary round up of some interesting, well I never facts and articles for your pleasure.

Programmer rants take a turn for the dark NSFW.

You may be aware of the penchant for old games developers to put in full on rants and stuff hidden in the code of old games.  There is an excellent video on Guru Larry's channel of western programmers doing just that and I will give you a link to it here as its well worth a look.  He does say in  the vid you don't want to know what Japanese developers hid in their games for good reason.

That reason is  Hisou Kihei XSERD an obscure strategy game for PC Engine.  There was a posting up on RHDN by some guys that they had found something pretty dark inside the files whilst working on this series of games (they fan translated the sequel Vixen 357 on Megadrive and had picked this up as its a prequel of sorts).   They are lyrics for a song about a serial killer and paedophile Tsutomu Miyazaki.  

Its understandably freaked out the people who found this, who posted it up on the boards.  The full text can be found here.  To be honest it reminds me of power electronics band Whitehouse and their fascination for killers and stuff, though I doubt William Bennet covered this and such.

You'll of course be wanting something to cheer you up after that so here is a few stories I've been reading today about Pineapple's setting fruit in,... Huddersfield.  That well known tropical town up north.  Also in the Sun on Sunday, that sparked this all off, a man also getting a fruit on his pineapple in that well know haven of the tropics... Cirencester.

In true imbecile fashion though the Sun proudly claims that its grown into a "3ft tree" despite the fact that Pineapple's aren't trees.  At best they are smallish shrubs, that need a fair bit of heat to produce fruit.  Can remember this from Victorian garden programme on TV ages ago where the rich Victorians would grow them in special glass houses with rotting manure so they would generate the heat needed to grow. 

Finally how about an obscure list of TV characters from Tim Worthington, its got the Animated Laurel and Hardy from when I was little, and Firestar from that Spiderman cartoon..

Don't have Nightmares.

Or Nick Ross and the spectacular rape meltdown as it should be known. 

The rape chapter was serialised in the Mail on Sunday along with a few other bits and pieces on crime and punishment the previous week that were less controversial.  Some of it I buy into namely the logistics of the whole spiked drinks and drug rape (testing showed just booze in all cases rather than anything else) and most of the domestic violence stuff which gives some much needed equality to the issue, rather than trot out the same line that men are the perpetrators all the time. 

(In fact its this along with the Lee Rigby murder that proves humanity is infintely inventive when it comes to being complete cunts to one another.)

This is the offending quote, for those unaware or simply don't care.

"‘Half of all women who have had penetrative sex unwillingly do not think they were raped and this proportion rises strongly when the assault involves a boyfriend, or if the woman is drunk or high on drugs: they led him on, they went too far, it wasn’t forcible, they didn’t make themselves clear. . . "

Surely rape is rape whether the woman (and its always a woman) was either too drunk, out of it or doesn't make consent clear.  I'm hardly the worlds expert on human emotions but if for whatever reason you can't consent then thats rape pure and simple.  If you're both too drunk to consent then that is the more interesting scenario on who gives consent, but most cases I'm pretty sure sex where consent is not given or is just dubious to begin with its rape.

(I'd also like to think that feminist professor Sarah Green countering against that was the same Sarah Green who did Going Live back in 1980s but I'm pretty sure she had an extra E at the end of her name).

As for me I'm with Alex from Mansfield on this from the Mail Onlines Comments.
" I don't really agree with him but questions like this need to be asked. As usual though , reactionary idiots and self appointed moral guardians, who can't see past a headline, are quick to be offended and stop reasonable debate on a very serious subject."


The Crazy World of Arthur Brown.

Its been quite a run on crazy sex related tales what with Gay marriage being sort of legalised here (to be honest I don't care, legalise it they're the only ones who care about it these days) and Amanda Platell going on a bent ref hunt in Saturdays mail.  Link here if you can stomach it.

Apparently shes appointed herself paedofinder general and written a load of words in how you can find massive amounts of CP stuff by typing in certain phrases and adding the word porn after it (or if we're malicious here typing all grown up in the MailOnline search box).  To be honest I'm not going to do that, as A. I already look like a chimney bottler and B. she only used Google for re(search) purposes and for slagging them off (agenda much).  If anyone wants to type this into Ask or Bing or any other search engine to see what you get then fine go ahead, leave me out of it, i'm sure its out there and not on some anonymous Tor portal a million miles away from regular users. 
A lot of that stuff reading again and again doesn't ring true.  That cute pussies tale has a massive ring of urban myth about it, and reminds me of a story about an old man who looking for a crossword clue about oriental donkeys typed Asian Ass into google and got nothing but pron. That is because the only people who call cats, pussies these days are Mrs Slocombe and my mum.  Incidentally they must have had safe search off because repeating this with it on gives you nothing but cats in image search.

The other stuff is various discredited studies on the porn viewing habits of a wide spec of children and young adults, that has been widely debunked as being too broad in scope.  If you want a balanced view about it and have an open mind on such stuff the Sex Myth by Dr Brooke Magnanti is an excellent read on this and for cheapskates there is a blog as well, which is also worth reading.

In summary don't have nightmares.

Polymusic.

Woolwich Poly Lower school ruins.

Here is something we really didn't expect to see, an LP of music from my old school.  Its called Polymusic and was made by the Woolwich Polytechnic School Concert band back in 1980.  Consisting of brass band standards including Dixieland Jamboree and a few marches it also contains some TV themes including Born Free and The Sweeny.   Although not a brass fan, this is actually quite relaxing and its competently done, but what you're dying to know is whether I'm one of the kids on the record.   Sadly no by the time I went there in 88 the band wasn't that much of a big deal, we still had music, but the band took less and less importance.  I can remember they came to our primary school sometime in the mid 80's possibly 86 and performed for us around Christmas time, but apart from that thats all I can remember.    

On a side note, my mate and I volunteered for choir practice they set up one christmas as we thought we could sing (we can't).  It was pretty cool and we had to wear uniform, but apart from singing Silent Night in German  I can remember nothing about it at all apart from it taking place in St Marys Church down at the back of Sainsburys in Woolwich.

Sadly both schools have moved into one now and they focus more on Technology rather than music.  The main campus is at the old Waterfield school in Thamesmead, you can read more here.   The upper school remains as flats though I don't have a photo of that yet. 

Ninja Edit.


The Sweeny from side A.

Sodding Football.

This could be considered a round up of sorts, we really don't have much of a liking for the "beautiful game" as I find it boring, and besides whenever I watch my token  team (Liverpool) they lose.  To be honest, this antipathy extends to videogames as well.  There must be at least 60 copies of  Fifa Soccer for every man, woman and child in the UK and there are further variants punted out every year.  Whether its hardcore management or five a side, there are millions of the buggers, there are even online variants of Panini Football stickers but with a FIFA edge to them. 

One of these days we will pick up Sensi for Amiga or one of its console variants as it seems closer in ethos for what football should be to me.  I.E  unlicenced and utter nonsense, if I recall correctly they had a granny team as well as various other fabulous sides. 

In fact here is a few games we'd love to see being made under the FIFA licence.  Oh and yeah dig our new site remodel, TBH we've been wanting to do this for ages now.

FIFA Park.

Yeah we know its kinda derivative of FIFA Street but, and this is the big but, it really is nothing like we played
football as kids.  What we want are.

Jumpers for goalposts.
Rush Goalies (they were allowed to come out of goal and be striker and as memory serves we made to feel foolish whenever you tackled them and scored)
 Fat or Geeky kids in defence.  The personal place of choice for the terminally unathletic.
Girls.  Yep sometimes girls played football, often though they'd just watch and talk with their friends.
More than eleven players on each team,  but often much less.

For this to work it'd have to be sort of like Inazuma Eleven, or Nintendo World Cup but not as shit.  Though without the super powers or anything else, just kids playing football in the schoolyard or the Park.

FIFA Soccer Womens Edition.

This incarnation of the popular game is probably the most mundane version of the lot.  A ladies version of the popular football game but with the proper licences from the Womens F.A and that.

To be honest this doesn't stand a hope in hell of being made.  I can't remember the last time I even saw a woman take part in a football game and the people who usually buy FIFA are not really that interested in womens soccer, unless they are particularly fit.  In fact google says that there is a game by American Soccer star Mia Hamm {though her name actually sounds like a cartoon pig} that was devoted to womens soccer, although that was just a crudely rebadged Michael Owens Football.

FIFA ate my hamster.

Actually the idea I'm gravitating to more is this one.  Rockstar ate my Hamster was a pop simulation game, where through constant stunts and pop tracks you tried to gain notoriety for your act and tried not to get yourself killed.  Due to the bad behaviour of footballers nowadays youi could easily replicate this type, but instead of getting killed, the outcome would be dropped from you team or jailed.  Add in some two footed tackles or unnecessary diving on pitch and you would have a winner or at least an interesting IPhone game.

FIFAsona.

This is a version of the above game but much more serious.  It would play out a lot more like the Persona RPGS, which involve strong team mechanics (a team of school kids investigate supernatural occurences, with the focus on team building and such).  I'd love to see a game where you are a new transfer into a made up team, in a lower league club.  Going through the footballing year, working on relationships with your team mates and playing in various cups.  Like Persona you would need to get on with your team, choosing who to hang out with and taking part in training sessions with your team. 

Where as I'd love to see this, even more so if they used a Sensi style overhead view, your average punter wants his RPGs to involve orcs and Goblins, like Skyrim, and not to involve footballers.

 

My love hate affair with torrenting.

Theres a thread up on BX forum detailing some of the stuff that you can't get for love nor money on torrent sites.  My 2 pence worth is this, if you go off the beaten track music wise then you stand a good chance of it not appearing.  Old electro, techno, minimal wave stuff, italo disco or acid are ignored unless your very lucky or visit Youtube where they are much more liberal with stuff like that (unless copyright cunts pull the owners channel).

My own personal experience with torrentz has been this, disappointing.  In fact, if I can't get it through Rapidlibrary or Megaupload or even direct from a site then lets face it its not worth bothering with.

This isn't some idle chatter either, at the moment, thanks to a bootsale mishap we have a Kevin Bloody Wilson case minus 1 CD.   Looking through the usual suspects, and finding it missing (we're looking for Kalgoorlie Love Songs BTW) we decide to check the torrents to find out if its been uploaded.   

Promising, there are about 7 streams and feedback is non existant but at least its there.

We download about 3 times and hit a brick wall. No one is seeding meaning that I get 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000002KB per second.  Fuck this. Fuck this to hell.  Trying about
three different streams and finding the same thing.  Currently we're 87% there and its not getting any better as the tap has dropped off.  If I was pirating films or games or something popular I probably would expect a stellar service (though I doubt it).  But something I own but due to an oversight (no disc) don't well damn I expect better.

Other stuff.
Remember last week we promised you a hedgehog.  Well here he is in all his rolled up glory.

Poor guy someone tried to touch him inappropriately.

Also we've been listening to something I can't really square with my beliefs at all.  I've written before about my love hate relationship with the Far Left and Far Right before and used to run with some people who were far more right wing than I'll ever be.  When I was growing up there used to be some cunt promoting the Socialist Wanker party outside Smiths.  (Thats largely moot now, we have various African Christians singing now outside Smiths, and yes they're fucking annoying).

I digress, the far right have been pumping out Hate rock for what seems like ages and to say it doesn't appeal to me is a understatement.  However thanks to an article in The Sun, I discovered Saga.  Or rather Ode to a dying people, which is a nice folky ballad (we made a slightly disappointing Acapella for mashing up and general mixing) which is insanely catchy.  Its the sort of stuff they would play at the end of CSI when the killer has been caught and you need a montage of shots for David Caruso to raise his shades to.
I still don't like any of their other stuff though luckily theres no such thing as racist techno so the dance community is safe for now.

Baku Baku Bonus bits.

One of the joys of emulation is that you're no longer need to bother with region coding or territorial lock out. Any game from anywhere can in theory be played so long as its supported by your emu.

Plus putting a disc in a PC can sometimes bring things up that are totally unexpected.

We bought a new Saturn game, its Baku Baku Animal and only cost a pound from Scope. We have SSF on our system so putting it into the drive to boot it up is a no brainer. However looking through the files is something quite bizarre. There are a series of textfiles, that do not amount to much but the last (titled readme) is pay dirt. In Japanese it lists some of the jobs such as designer and producer (we really can't read much due to poor Japanese skills) and a hyper ending. I'll attempt a dictionary translation but without 1337 Japanese skills it may lack coherence or even meaning.

In that there's a latin name (evident even in notepad) that links to a kind of parasitical flatworm
(Bipellium Fuscatum fact fans) so in actual fact they're not hyper at all just diseased.

So there you are Baku Baku Animal basically a game about worm riddled animals who can't stop eating.

File here for anyone who wants to look through and has a text editor capable of reading Japanese.

Improving Eastenders

Looking through Love Thy Neighbour on Wikipaedia and one thing struck me as odd, they should get Jack Smethurst in Eastenders, possibly as Patricks neighbour. Not only would it be both Eastenders and Love Thy Neighbour at the same time, but they would be neighbours in both shows. Nowadays he couldn't be a bigot, but it would be cool nonetheless and they had the Equalizer before he carked it.