Robot life.

Brief update before the main show, I went out to Wem ber ley {Wembley}for a look around the town and that, they have a charity shop dedicated to the local library which was cool and a not very visible tube / train station which took ages to find (clue its next to T am Pax (TK Maxx)).
 Apart from some old Private Eye flexidiscs (shurely shome mistake) and an old copy of Dragon Magazine, that's about it for purchases. 

Antivaxxers: or as I call them disease carriers

Robot Life

Don't normally go into depth about me in posts, but I've been meaning to make a few "autism awareness" posters for quite sometime.  There is a small bit in today's Liz Jones column about how I feel (the PS bit at the end not the bit about renting), she's deaf and has some OCD issues and is a weirdo vegan but here is spot on about disability and that.  To paraphrase a lot of people in Autism group think autism and related Aspergers Spectrum Disorders are some sort of wonderful things and that their lives under autism are all roses and that if they are cured they will have nothing to live for.  I don't think like that.  Far from it. 

I can barely talk and think most days, that's why I call it my robot life, this time of year I find the light to bright and certain sounds like storms and motorbikes are far too loud, but generally I am not one of those people who meltdown at the drop of a hat.  I do however crave routine both offline and on.  So far I'm a typical "aspie" though the word to me is facile and stupid, its a word made up for us.  Autist is far better for me or even sperg which is at least honest and isn't offensive to me, maybe some could reclaim it Icespergers anyone.

Aspergers to me its an everyday slap in the face on how I'm not like regular folk.  I wont celebrate this, I wont celebrate Neurodiversity either or any of the other positivm shit the others put out. If you have a problem you get it fixed, though god knows what it would take to get a cure. 

Put it bluntly, your brain on Aspergers is like one of those pirate products from china.  Badly manufactured and a shoddy knock off a regular products, with bits routed here and there.  Nothing much works and what does is often a lot strange.  The only positives for me I can think of is Hyperlexia, that is being able to read at a stupidly young age and that isn't saying much.  

Blarrgh.

 Its horrible posters like this one that make me shiver.  Its differences that make us targets, alienate us and indeed make life a bit more unbearable.  Of course we don't know how to play by the rules, no one tells us but to be honest, thats how life is, and there's no real getting away from that.  If your smart enough to know how bad it can be (and yes there are downsides to it) then this is more of an accurate poster.

But only sometimes.

Farewell Old Friend

Before I start on this weeks topic here is a sentence I never thought I would say, I actually agree with a Liz Jones column.  Specifically this one on Red Nose Day.  Though we may share different ideas about this, (she finds it inherently patronising and borderline racist whereas I just find it to be overpromoted, cynical and promotes an involuntary give us your fucking money culture rather than leaving it voluntary).  Africas main problem is and will always be corruption, and I would rather pay for items in a charity shop or put small change into one of these than "do something funny for money" see also children in need as well.

This is of course not what I wanted to talk about, but rather the slow decline and demise of my old PC.  Bought back in 2003 for a grand along with my first digital camera (also fucked)and Printer thrown in (ditto) and was home to our first Dial Up internet connection (to AOL of all places, now cancelled).

It had a lot wrong with it in the end, starting with it not being able to play DVDs properly, having virtual memory problems, adding a Zonealarm firewall introduced a host of problems and corrupted a lot of things  prompting an upgrade to a vista pc.. It lost a USB port due to the clumsy git installing my broadband, before  it was relegated upstairs, offline and out of sight pressed into service to print the odd document or emulation fun. 

Its final decline was announced by finding an old XP machine chucked out at work, slightly better processor and with a flat screen to boot.  We took it home and cleared some hideous cyberpatrol rubbish off it and a load of Turkish MP3s.  It was then that my old machines fate was sealed,  I spent half a day off taking it apart keeping various bits and pieces (mouse and keyboard as well as a kettle lead for my new monitor) and reserving my old HD before it went to the tip.

Here are a few pictures I shot to say goodbye.

DVD, CDR, and Floppy are your choice of drive.

They tied a knot in our power lead!

Groovy carpet check, Extra gubbins check.

On board Video by NVidia.

256MB of DDR RAM.

Sodding Football.

This could be considered a round up of sorts, we really don't have much of a liking for the "beautiful game" as I find it boring, and besides whenever I watch my token  team (Liverpool) they lose.  To be honest, this antipathy extends to videogames as well.  There must be at least 60 copies of  Fifa Soccer for every man, woman and child in the UK and there are further variants punted out every year.  Whether its hardcore management or five a side, there are millions of the buggers, there are even online variants of Panini Football stickers but with a FIFA edge to them. 

One of these days we will pick up Sensi for Amiga or one of its console variants as it seems closer in ethos for what football should be to me.  I.E  unlicenced and utter nonsense, if I recall correctly they had a granny team as well as various other fabulous sides. 

In fact here is a few games we'd love to see being made under the FIFA licence.  Oh and yeah dig our new site remodel, TBH we've been wanting to do this for ages now.

FIFA Park.

Yeah we know its kinda derivative of FIFA Street but, and this is the big but, it really is nothing like we played
football as kids.  What we want are.

Jumpers for goalposts.
Rush Goalies (they were allowed to come out of goal and be striker and as memory serves we made to feel foolish whenever you tackled them and scored)
 Fat or Geeky kids in defence.  The personal place of choice for the terminally unathletic.
Girls.  Yep sometimes girls played football, often though they'd just watch and talk with their friends.
More than eleven players on each team,  but often much less.

For this to work it'd have to be sort of like Inazuma Eleven, or Nintendo World Cup but not as shit.  Though without the super powers or anything else, just kids playing football in the schoolyard or the Park.

FIFA Soccer Womens Edition.

This incarnation of the popular game is probably the most mundane version of the lot.  A ladies version of the popular football game but with the proper licences from the Womens F.A and that.

To be honest this doesn't stand a hope in hell of being made.  I can't remember the last time I even saw a woman take part in a football game and the people who usually buy FIFA are not really that interested in womens soccer, unless they are particularly fit.  In fact google says that there is a game by American Soccer star Mia Hamm {though her name actually sounds like a cartoon pig} that was devoted to womens soccer, although that was just a crudely rebadged Michael Owens Football.

FIFA ate my hamster.

Actually the idea I'm gravitating to more is this one.  Rockstar ate my Hamster was a pop simulation game, where through constant stunts and pop tracks you tried to gain notoriety for your act and tried not to get yourself killed.  Due to the bad behaviour of footballers nowadays youi could easily replicate this type, but instead of getting killed, the outcome would be dropped from you team or jailed.  Add in some two footed tackles or unnecessary diving on pitch and you would have a winner or at least an interesting IPhone game.

FIFAsona.

This is a version of the above game but much more serious.  It would play out a lot more like the Persona RPGS, which involve strong team mechanics (a team of school kids investigate supernatural occurences, with the focus on team building and such).  I'd love to see a game where you are a new transfer into a made up team, in a lower league club.  Going through the footballing year, working on relationships with your team mates and playing in various cups.  Like Persona you would need to get on with your team, choosing who to hang out with and taking part in training sessions with your team. 

Where as I'd love to see this, even more so if they used a Sensi style overhead view, your average punter wants his RPGs to involve orcs and Goblins, like Skyrim, and not to involve footballers.

 

F You.

I really don't get You magazine. For the uninitiated / unaware its a Sunday supplement to the Mail on Sunday, Britain's premier middle England mouthpiece and general home of immigrant scare stories and Jonathan Ross lynching petitions.
Whereas Live, its male equivalent is all expensive consumer goods, TV listings with the occasional interesting story, You is something more sinister.

Its mainly articles about women with a few bits of fashion and cookery that have that old school women's mag feel, coupled with new school women's mags (mainly homeopathic / alternative medicine,) they used to integrated health at one time, with Dr Ali and wildly surreal pictures by Martin Haake.

The articles fit into two camps, Sloane type moves to the country and finds solace in arts and crafts, middle class worry Du jour, includes economic troubles modern etiquette and bukkake (OK not bukkake).

There's further arts and crafts stuff in the homebuyers bit and the only good bit (a crossword) before it all goes to hell. I really can't stand Liz Jones and both magazines end with total cunts (Live has Britain's got Talent judge Piers Morgan). It seems to end with her bemoaning her cheating ex and slowly going mad on Exmoor with her extended menagerie of creatures. Kind of like an Equine version of the Shining, but with less Jack Nicholson.

There's also a cartoon called Demented that seems to be the fevered ravings of Viz's Millie Tant. Its normally either politician hatred or banker hatred, with a few non male bashing strips added to it. We normally doctor them in pencil to make them more surreal or draw stuff on them. See above for a rework.