Review of 2021 pt3.

 So for the final part of the round up of the year. You know the deal, it's all the stuff I've forgotten over the past two posts and its also any books, films, online vids or games which I can shoehorn in.

Books.

Been going through the Hardy boys back catalogue now, for the past two years. We have Flickering Torch to upload tomorrow. btw. But I've been consistently surprised on how good the original stories are. Where its a sly paeon to mental health in Secret of the Caves to some weird cross dressing Chinese in Footprints under the window. There's been something to give food for thought. 

Also new Jack Reacher, Better off Dead isn't all that sadly, will have to see if it gets better.

Gaming.

Have recently gotten me a cheap Switch lite. It has a Euro Charger and a whopping 128gb card in it. So how I got it so cheap, hell knows. All I can say is, I'm now playing current era games. 

My current 3 faves are. 

Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin. 

Imagine Harvest Moon / Story of Seasons. Now cut down all your crop choices to just growing rice. In obsessive detail. The other half is a platform beat em up, where you wail on various woodland creatures. But it's mainly rice cultivation and talking with the various humans you are exiled on this god forsaken island with.

The best part is the end of year one where everyone brings in the rice harvest and sings a traditional folk song to do so. Spine tingling stuff.

Suikoden: Tsugumareshi no ki. PSP

Konami's last ever Suikoden, on the PSP. It allows you some brief time travel in a select area back 100 years via a magic tree. You cannot leave the area and are reliant on your ancestors to deliver the messages and deliver the tree saplings. Apart from that its good. A good B tier PSP RPG. Makes you wonder what else is on their list.

Cave Story. PSP homebrew.

Had to rebuild my SD card interface as the original cracked and the SD card got corrupted. So this and a few other gems were downloaded. It's been on a few systems, but the PSP version is actually a pretty nice port. Its a platform run n gun style game, where you have to rescue the cute Mimigas and have to stop a bad guy from turning the world to shit. Via berserk red flowers. 

Finally a little Youtube to calm my soul.

The only thing I can recommend is a 40 minute deep dive into Trackers and the MOD community. Seriously fuck Fl studio and the likes. This is still how you make music.

Round up 2o2o the everything else.

 I spoke too soon when I said there was no bad music in 2020. I forgot non binary retard, Sam Smith did his own version of I Feel Love by Donna Summer. A totally unnecessary edit and a complete train wreck.

Oh and if you're just joining us here, this is the bit were I shoe horn in all the bits I've forgotten over the last few days, and add sundry other bits and pieces like books and Youtube

First up is forgotten stuff and also ran bits.

Travels to To Oishii Tokyo. 

A sort of food unwrapped with a scandinavian bird in place of Kate Quilton. Its on NHK world and the one we saw concerned Konjac root. How it is and what its used for (mostly Oden stew and choking people, it's banned here.)

I'll add 4 seasons in Japan as well, just for focusing on so much obscure wild life. A big brown sea slug in a bay and several crabs in a lagoon were just one of the highlights of lockddown for me. but there are loads of episodes just like this.

Youtube.

Been deep in the comicsgate hole for most of 2020, so if you want action and adventure and no one talks about orange man bad or pronouns in  your comics, look into some of those guys. 

In fact I have a few good series for you to check. 

Theramintrees for one of the best demolishings of Christianity ever.

Looking into the work boy and getting it to run via the original software hosed out from the gigaleaks.

And speaking of gigaleaks. The out of the blue leaking of a whole load of Nintendo roms and info, has to be the best thing this entire year. Includes smug link from Links Awakening. Proto art, beta roms for a load of gameboy and Snes games along with some tools and a bit from Yoshi's Island where he bombs a village in helicopter mode.

Finally got round to looking at the His Dark Materials trilogy and its doesn't disappoint. The show is good, but has taken a few woke pokes including Mrs Coulter of all things that aren't in the book but I'm not going to argue against casting here. Its spot on, all leads are good, and we get Moriarty as Stanislaus Grumann.. Which is cool.

Wouldn't Even Explain you.

Forgive me for being late to this particular party. but here is my take on a few things basically Sargon related. In particular its the supposed joke / comeback to MP Jess Phillips that I need to address and matters arising from such.

Cards on the table first. I have been a subscriber to Sargon's Channel since gamergate, the popular uprising against corrupt game journalists, along with Thunderf00t and Mr Metokur/ Internet Aristocrat.  Possibly two of his biggest detractors.  My politics are centre right. Think the 2011 election in the UK lib dem power sharing but with acutal likeable people in charge, that's basically my politics, in a nutshell.

The joke?

I kinda like the actual joke, even if it's not funny in the first place.  The context is that Sargon hates Jess Phillips because of her laughing at Male Suicide numbers in a parliamentary debate. The wouldn't even rape you remark is part of a twitter spat between the two, which this culminated in him being kicked off Twitter for good (and previously banned for posting interracial gay pr0n on an exchange with the alt right.)

Its a pretty savage comeback and it ranks as one of the better insults I've heard, if not particularly funny.  My take on it, is this. I read this as an act beneath him to do. As a woman he wouldn't rape her because she wasn't worth it. She's so utterly below him as a person, that he wouldn't carry it out. And apparently I'm wrong. Sorta.

Its more like, I wouldn't rape you because its abhorrent, (and rape is, if you're wondering.) and that although if the opportunity arose, then he still wouldn't.  Maybe it's both, maybe it's neither I just wanted to do my take on this joke. 

Fallout.

Of course when the whole UKIP MEP candidacy arose, the press had a field day, dragging up these tweets and bringing it into the open and totally misrepresenting his word, by calling them rape threats. They're not, by the way. It's a statement of  disintent rather than intent. And proves my point that modern news publishing is a joke. And it went full circle with him adding that he would consider it, but there wasn't enough beer in world for him to contemplate it.

The final evolution of the whole thing is a spot on Have I Got News For you a previously funny show, that I gave up watching a few years back. With the never funny Jo Brand as guest host, and Jess Phillips as a contestant, calling him a neckbeard and laughing at him getting milkshaked by left wing incels at a  UJKIP rally. 

Summary

I still don't find it funny, most internet drama isn't, and while I rate it as a top drawer insult and comeback, it's not really humorous as such. Those describing it as a joke or as comedy then please don't, Sargon: A. isn't a comedian and B, its an insult, an aside, a come back and should be treated as such.

Free Video Editors a top something or other

Been on the look out for some free video editors and stuff and thought I would give you a heads up on some things I've found. Everything is fucking shit and I'll explain.

I use quite a bit of free software to replace useless or inadequate stuff Windows does.   We use Recuva to snaffle pictures from old SD cards and Audacity and GIMP (not an actual gimp) for audio work and picture editing as well as a bought life subscription to Goldwave (they're Canadian, its cheap).  So would like to think they would have a nice free video botherer for YTP and the like something to rival Vegas for ease of use and integration.  What I've found is far, far worse.

Lightworks  

This could easily be from some cartoon tie in on the GBA

This is probably the best of the bunch as its remotely accessible to any newbies but still does things weirdly.  Overall it looks like it should be an old XP program from 2005 such is its design, you import stuff from a folder and arrange things in bins and then click on a bank of panels at the side to create you own timeline.  Even installing you'll need to register even for a free version, and the upshot is this unless you have a Vimeo or Youtube account you can't export it to popular formats such as WMV or AVI. Its a bastard headache to use and the shark logo kept reminding me of an old GBA game. 

It does have a great video tutorial that is narrated by a Brooklyn gangster.  Also if you are running linux, then versions are available for that as well, they'll still be opaque and obtuse though.

Blender.

Strictly speaking not a video editor as its a 3D renderer with some video editing added in, its on a par with Lightworks for complexity though, relying on drop down menus for everything.  You'll see when you start it up, you'll need to use a drop down menu to even reach the editor and then faff around with a few more menus to add a video clip, which needs a few unexplained keyboard short cuts to cut.  If you put in the hours you'll be able to do some great things with this, I am sure of this, its just like hitting a brick wall at 400mph and expecting to survive.

One really good thing is that it has the best tutorial videos ever with it, a seminar going through main functions and stuff split into a variety of videos.   On the strength of these vids, I've not uninstalled Blender yet, that's how good they are. If they simplified the video interface or split it off into a standalone product it would be genius.

Tencoder.

This isn't really an editor as such but a video converter and a decentish Youtube downloader. 
Its junk free unlike Freemake and you can update it painlessly in App to the current version.  Its not that hard to do just choose your output files from the drop down menu and it'll convert it.  A few caveats though some stuff will not get downloaded from Youtube, I've used this for a while now and it won't grab everything especially vevo stuff. 

You can use Keepvid or another site to download them for keeps, or if you want a program to do it then AVC Ultimate is pretty good, just keep ignoring the register nag box and it should download with no worries.

Honourable mentions go to WinFF which I've used in the past and Handbrake which I've never gotten on with.

Adobe Premiere CS2.

I haven't even tested this yet on PC, and its really old now so not sure if it'll work on Win 10 but this part of the discontinued Adobe creative suite.  Reading up on the comments, I see there are some formats it doesn't load but you can use Tencoder to switch them into something it recognises.

I've used and disliked Audition and a Legit version of Photoshop which I had to crack on an old PC to make it work.  I may actually download this if all else fails and use it on my old desktop (CS188 poops were done in Premiere and after effects) so I know its a good pedigree.

Shotcut.

I haven't talked about Windows Movie Maker here which isn't available for Windows 10, it doesn't matter as this is the nearest equivalent out there.  It didn't run in Vista when I tried but when I opened it in Win 10 bingo it loaded.  It feels like movie maker although its a bit of  a bastard about cutting stuff saying I should install Virtual Dub to do this which only imports AVI files. 

I like WMV as a video format and this was a deal breaker for me, if they add a way to cut and past in shotcut then I'm sold as Movie maker is a terrible program. I may give it a second chance if its rectified in the future but so far then its a no from me.

Conclusion.  They are either complex or missing features and stuff if you can live with this then good luck, blender seems the most capable but I would say learn 3D stuff rather then video editing.

Also Blackmagic Davinci, looks great but needs more HD space and RAM than God to get working, so its an automatic no from me.

Final posting.

This is the traditional bits I've forgotten part, along with all the bits and pieces I've watched on Youtube over the year.

First up missed bits.  TV.

Been a year for disappointing documentaries, the Big Blue live from Monterey Bay was a BBC live thing that looked at whales and seals not doing much.  They had Sea Otters which are cute as buttons, but to be honest if you really want to do this right, have a look at the official MBARI channel on Youtube, the sea isn't home to just large mammals and it gets much weirder the deeper you go.

Ed Stafford into the unknown.
In which the guy who walked the length of the Amazon, looks into anomalous areas on Google Earth and then works out just what is there.  An excellent show, whether its trekking through a miserable Siberian winter to see what would become a meteorite crater or some anomalous lines in Papua New Guinea, its nothing short of amazing.

Some Penguin Documentary with Kate Winslett.

Guy spends a year filming Flightless birds only to have it ruined by some dopey bird in the studio on voice over duties, Kate Winslett I'm looking at you. There are some nice touches to Jean Jacques Perrey on the soundtrack though and we found out that Adellie Penguins are basically Napoleon in bird form, bullying everything in sight. 

Lastly they killed Fatboy off in Eastenders. Its a small mercy I always thought he looked like Howard The Duck made flesh and his hideous rude bwoy act is painful.  So thanks random gangsters for crushing him in a car, that for me made Xmas.

Ads.

Didn't really have room for this in the last post, but Sainsburys have done good, bringing to life everyone's favourite children's character Mog to life (along with very hungry Caterpillar these are the stock books you read as a kid).  Shame though the story its attached to is more for letting people know about checking smoke alarms than a major supermarket. 

House of Fraser is this years Chanel 5 ad but instead of painfully earnest bollocks you have the horrible gangster crap.  Its Hip Hop nonsense, see also the one with Kanye West's rip off of Daft Punk Better Fast Stronger etc etc.

Music.

  I'm With Her Be My Husband.

The only high point of BBC2's Folk Hour is that sometimes you'll come across gems like this instead of real ale twats with fiddles, or CND berks with a grudge because Tories got in.  Nice reminds me a bit of Cassy's Version of Easy Lee, and bit of Cat Power which is always a nice thing.

Little Mix Black Magic.

This sounds like every kids birthday party ever, if for one thing you want to get a party of screaming hyperactive 6 year olds going then this will probably do it.  For anyone else this can fuck right off.

Internets.

YTP of the year is hotly contested but Noisepuppet edges it with his triptych from really terrible films.  A few honourable mentions goes to pthooie and poops4theworld for some great stuff.  Oh and Telstar logistics channel for amazing Michael Rosen YTPMVS his electrofunk rap is the best.

Thunderf00t for simply being Thunderf00t and that.  A few times I've put on his vids and found myself agreeing with them.  Plus there's some really neat science stuff too when he's not on a rant.

Sargon Of Akkad.  A few things I've liked of his but his talk with Erin Pizzey is top notch. Its of course to do with feminism and its 90 minutes long but if you can download and convert into a pod cast then please have a listen, its magic.

A few crossover bits and pieces are for /V the Musical 3 Take On Kaz. One for recycling A-Ha Take On Me and two for making it so catchy you'll want to sing along.  All together now What's His Name.

There are a few more good things here.  WhispersRed Youtube channel for calming me down and getting me to sleep, and Pantou from the paedo Brasseye special alive and well and lurking on the comments section on every kids gymnastics video.

Comedown.

Like the title says this is the final review we'll do.  All the best bits forgotten from the previous two reviews and a round up of stories of the year.  But first the final crusty remnants.

Meghan Trainers.  All about that ass.

Or indeed bass, you all know what this is about and its a guilty pleasure, like a McDonalds or a crispy Kreme donut. The lyrics are the usual bollocks essentially and she's more homely than full on fat like most Muricans, but there's something about this that keeps me coming back.  Maybe its the audio equivalent of Chinese food.

The Taylors of Harrogate Coffee Ad.

Reading the comments its apparently a version of listen to the mockingbird and possibly scanned in from a crackly old 78, rather than a tape but this is one of the best things of the year.  Just a bit of psychedelia to sell you coffee rather than some old bullshit dreamed up by admen on coke.

A bit more on stems.

Forgot I took this screen grab until I was scrolling through the pictures on my HD. Highlighted is the only thing audible in the entire file.

This weighed in as a 52Meg download from Soundcloud.

You know what is even worse after erasing all deadspace from every file, and creating and saving a project file in Psycle, it still comes to only 46 MB.

                                        F E A T U R E   P R E S E N T A T I O N

Great stuff in YTP.

Well there is a few things that have kept me laughing this year.  First of all is a new Krobo Poop a part two of his Fesh Prince of Blair.  Its around 14 Minutes of fun but keeps you entertained.

Caillou celebrates Ebolaween. from CS188. Why not draw mummy's twins on the Joj lantern this Ebolaween, cos its a damn good return to form.

Noisepuppet stuff.  Possibly  the last one about cheese or the Harbee's training video poop which is very well done.  There are a lot of  Rosen poopers such as Mad Mothz or Root Negative 16 which are entirely worthy of your time, but (and this is a big butt) for me a great new find is the Septic Foundary guys, I'm a sucker for some good sentence mixing.

Yay stuff in general.

Sargon Of Akkad.
Don't normally get involved with feminism in general but, this is a good enough starting point now that the Internet Aristocrat channel is closed.  If you despise Tumblr feminists, mental illness fakers (look up headmates) and social marxists in general this is a good enough antidote to all that.

Ashens.

You should know by now that I love Dr. A's work, ever since I came across him on the now defunct World Of Stuart forum, but his stuff keeps getting better, either the ropey block tech advent calendar, chef Excellence who I'm sure is in the Just Eat ad, or the regular Poundland haul of cheapo toys. True there has been some that are hard to watch, anything involving massively out of date food, but the rest is pure gold.

Fappening.

Just for showing us what Cat Deeley's snatch looked like {NSFW}.  Oh and about a million other things thanks to lax password controls and an absolute faith in cloud security, to protect when the best security is keeping it secret and backed up offline.  I know I should be banging on how terrible this is but for a basement dweller who will never score, this is gold.  Also the best thing to come out of Downtown Abbey is surely Jessica Finlay nude right (along with the one time that the cat stole the chicken).

Nay stuff.

Gamergate.
I know there is a lot of this to take in such as the not your shield hashtag for those non CSI Miami types, all you female gamers out there and all you gaymers who don't identify with the rad feminists who want gaming to end.  I just don't like all the death threats on twitter this generated, and I really abhor the way the anti side tried to say we are dead.  I've read a lot about this over the 6 months it came out and now I can say this please end.  It doesn't affect regular gamers who still have to put up with non i'll informed bullshit about violence, in fact there is a year old piece masquerading as news in the mail today about violence and misogyny in gaming which says how much the mainstream still hates us.

Its not about ethics in journalism either as the whiny anti gg side have latched onto as game journalism is, was and in the future will still be, shit. In fact to me the worst thing about this generation is the built in obsolescence of it all, that console games are now as badly bugged as PC games, and require patches to work, its paying for DLC that is already on disc, its the fact that when the servers are turned off or the Hard drives start to die, that this generation will leave nothing behind unless archived.  Its not some soppy bint with a degree in social studies saying that all games are sexist, though bollocks still isn't as bad as some of the shit pulled by the industry (Ubisoft and EA i'm looking at you).  The best thing about it all is saying full Mcintosh, which is a much nicer way of saying full retard especially if you work with spackers.

People Who Annoy Us

So I've spent the best part of half an hour dicking about trying to find a way of logging in to post this, as Google in their infinite wisdom decides I need a Google+ account even though my existing G+ account is never ever used.  Oh it gets stuff posted to it and if I'm surfing in Chrome I can even put comments on videos "lucky me" but if I use Firefox and who wouldn't I can't even do that as Google Plus is SHITE.
I've sort of fixed it now as I have added a X (its not an app we're not apples) to Chrome which means I should be able to sign in and post through that.

Normally I use Chrome for select things (I.E porn) as Firefox gets all my regular day to day traffic, Chrome also hosts a few out and out classic games such as Miniclip pool and Spelunky, and of course Spelunky Porn.

Nonce Sense.
Incidentally here is another one of my bugbears, NSPCC ads. They've got a new ad out for Christmas reusing the same child actors who by my reckoning must at least be grown up with their own kids by now, but with some added bits of onscreen gunk and a fey version of a Christmas hit.  Is this a thing now get some dopey bird to sing a light version of hit songs, you know what I mean Gabrielle Aplin's version of The Power Of Love for John Lewis last year or Lily Allen with the bear nonsense for this year.

At least they didn't include the clip of the little boy playing Tony Hawks Skating, but I wouldn't put it past them. Incidentally one of the most excellent and by excellent, I mean messed up things I saw, was one of the original ads with a laugh track added.  Its gone from YT now as is my inspired copy (i.e. massive cash in) largely for using Orbital The Box as a backing track. I'll add it to Mediafire in anyone wants it but like everything I've made it is awful and everyone thought I was taking the piss out of abuse rather than the ad itself. The perils of Autism.

Fred Flintstone PH fucking D.

Looks like caveman thinking is catching, the long hated renovation of Youtube (goodbye most of my subs videos) and  its forced adoptance of  Google Plus has come to pass, pissing off everyone I know and consolidating everything into one confusing mess.  You can't comment without it and even if you do it returns errors, Google plus is of course the Red headed stepchild of social networks.  Incidentally thats where I found my log in now as part of manage your blogs rather than going to your homepage (I did want to bugger off to Wordpress or even Tumblr before looking through this so if anyone else is in a similar situation check to see if it hasn't been borged into your Gmail log in).  Even worse I had a trip down to my aunts as she wanted to pick up a new car and I wanted to do some computer stuff (basically run virus and Malware scans and update everything) but it didn't turn out like that.

I wanted to shift across some home videos she has of my family onto DVD via a Videograbber that didn't really work at home.  She has an old dell PC that I've used in the past and I generally boot it up to play stuff via FBA and a few other emulators.  However this time when I booted it up I was met with an error message upon start up that a System32 file was corrupt and pressing r to repair it (can't remember it offhand).  She had long moved on to a small laptop with horrible track pad for email and Internet surfing so it wasn't a problem for her but I wanted to get to the root of it for old times sake.  I decided if windows wouldn't boot I would try Linux and download Mint to see if it would boot via CD. Short answer yes but wouldn't accept cinnamon at all, prefering to go into Fallback mode minus any log out options.  I decided to download Ubuntu and try that as well and it worked a little better but with various crashes, both times it refused to mount the main drive and gave back error messages to check it in windows. 

Finally I Decided to run some benchmarking tools including Dells own set of start up recovery stuff. Ubuntus own drive benchmarking and Seagate tools (for we found it was an old Maxtor drive) DOS start up disc.
The upshot is the drive was knackered and the only thing for it was to take it out and replace it.  Luckily it was never used for much I lost a song I was working on in Aodix and a few replaceable roms, All the photos on there I migrated across to a cd ages ago so nothing much was lost thank dog. 

Food and drink.

So its happened Google has morphed my entire blog, Youtube channel and unwanted child of a Google Plus page into one hideous shambolic whole.  Its not as if I wasn't warned but now I have one log in to rule them all and be damned if you want differently.  Also Youtuber channel owners look in your channel for the subscribers sidebar and click get Email notification for all you sub to as the new way is only frequent fliers will be updated meaning you'll miss out on all of you updates.  Its a horrible way of working I know but at least this way you'll get an Email notification when someone updates.

Food and Drink.

We don't really cook up stuff, I can make breakfast at a pinch so this will be a few recipies for soft drinks  with an occasional plea for making products that do not exist. 

Drinks.

Due to an ambivalence toward Alcohol this is strictly drinks for teetotallers and non diabetics due to frightening amounts of sugar.  We picked up a few cans of coconut juice at the weekend and a thoroughly vile sugarcane juice from an unofficial poundshop.  Really mixed up it looked like grey water from the bath and it really didn't help adding 7UP as a mixer.  Hopefully the coconut version of this will be much better, when mixed as we still have a few 500ml bottles left.

My favourite version of this is just plain coconut juice and cream soda which is heavenly.  There really isn't a straight version of coconut soda although such a thing must exist somewhere maybe this dude has some.
(hint yes he does.)

The pound shop also had cans of drink as well including the lovely pokka melon milk and a few other concentrate stuff like an orange drink version (don't care for orange) and a mango one which is nice.
Also I've had Korean drinks in small cans including a nice grape juice drink with added grapes and occasionally Sujeonggwa. See below.

Made with Persimmons

Finally because I'm obviously some sort of manchild we have Frosties for breakfast (Frosted Flakes for non UK citizens) it offers basic nutrition with the added hit of sugar.  I had the crazy idea of adding raisins or even currants to the flakes and as an afterthought reaching the bottom of the current box decided to bulk it up with Fruit and fibre.  Not too sure about the peanuts but it actually works with the added raisins to it.

TV and Video Review of Last year.

RIP Jimmy

We should have added this at christmas, but here, dragged into the unblinking light is a round up of some of the highlights of last year you could have seen on your tellybox.  Or in some cases monitor. 

Here with further ado is our list of stuff for 2011.

Best video by a bacon hungering dog.  Ultimate dog tease.

Though its nothing but an alsation dog dubbed with a funny voice.  Its pretty well observed and funny to boot.  Bacon.  I couldn't stop thinking about it.

Best YTP not to involve ponies.  Fesh Pince of Blair, Dikeike.

Twenty minutes of Will Smith would normally drag but its YTP and more importantly its Dikeike so you know your getting filth and a massive dose of saas.  Notable for the phrase Uncle funkle and Carleton getting a sandwich, its my pick of the year.

Best YTP involving Michael Rosen.  A Michael Rosen Christmas, CS188.

I must have seen about a hundred or so Michael Rosen videos and still can't see how something so quintessentially English got so big.  They always seemed to have his books in school when I was growing up and we always shunned them in favour for Choose Your Own adventures or playing had instead.   Michael seems resigned to his fate as a YTP source, and thanks to Imperial Lobster and Katanasoul we've had many great Michael YTPs over the years.  My favourite is however CS188's A Michael Rosen Christmas, with Michael adding 'Plams' to his christmas tree before zooming off to deliver presents to a largely ungrateful population, and not a single joke about him fiddle diddling with his sister at all.

TV Show of the year.  Life in the cold or whatever its called.

Y'know the one with David Attenborough and its in the poles.  Whatever its called it wins simply for their footage of a rock stealing Adelie Penguin (not Adele Penguin thats another type of large bird entirely).

Runner Up.  Special When Lit. 

PBS (Americas BBC4) is now available in the UK and on bangers night they showed this, reverent homage to the pinball industry.  All its oddballs and all its enthusiasts given equal time in the limelight without taking the piss at all.  We'd also like a charming Documentary involving Japanese College Baseball taken into consideration as well, I think it was called KokoYakyu.

Best Royal Wedding. Jean Michel Jarre concert Prince of Monaco Wedding.

Our own royal wedding bored me shitless, but this whole concert in tribute to the marriage of the prince of Monaco to his runaway bride, on Euronews was the bomb.

Best discussion of a national event.   DJO does the Royal wedding.

Applejuice, Kill Jordy, Jesus is a raisin.  If you don't know what or indeed who the DayJob Orchestra are, search out their Star Trek vids on Youtube.   They are Canadians that redub old videos and add their own hideous lipsynching instead.  DJO has its big old Appleparty doing the royal wedding of Tom Middleton to Prince William.

Best Advert.  Avios.

One of those search engines where you compare things. Who cares, there are floating washing machines and a cool song by Leila Arab.

Finally we come to our very special Miranda Awards for Televisual Unexcellence.  The first annual bad television awards, named in honour of the grossly unfunny sitcom of the same name.

Winner (by a country mile) The Royal Bodyguard.

We lost John Sullivan this year, so this means no Rock N Chips and no Green Green Grass of Home or Fools n Horses ever.  Which means David Jason has to eke out his pension in this misfiring mix of Mr Bean and pomp and ceremony.  I lasted 5 minutes about the same as I did for Miranda, before putting him out of his misery.

Runner up.  Towie Any season any episode.

Worst costume Drama.  Downs syndrome Abbey. (Downton Abbey)

Put the chicken stealing cat in from series 1 and then we'll talk.  We liked the Norwich union ads its a shame that they were ruined by being sandwiched between some boring show. 

Worst Internet fad.  Nyancat.

Irritating Vocaloid song added to a sprite of a half pop tart half cat trailing a rainbow behind it.  If you haven't seen it consider yourself blessed.

Its done.

Finally let this be the last of this nazi bollocks.

Oh and as a postscript let there be house. We have explosive (Propellerheads ReBirth). W00t dudes.

Post postscript. That Benson and Hedges Programme actually contains Stephen Hendry's autograph (We have Steve Davis' already).