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Wednesday 25 December 2019

Merry Christmas

This is the one where we talk about good and bad television of the year. Come back tomorrow for best music and the day after for anything I've forgotten which is suspect is everything.

We will start with the traditional good shows.

Ed Stafford Man, Wife, Child.

Marooned on a tropical island (Merak island, Indonesia). Ed has to provide for his wife and his child, this involves killing a pig, and leaping off a cliff. His wife is hot and does the same sort of thing he did, leading a trip down the Orinoco river.

Rise of the Nazis.

BBC2 tour de force explaining the roots of the Nazi party and how thanks to one man promoting them, to essentially own the libs, let in one of the worst regimes of the 20th century.  We learned that Hermann Goering owned a Lion, that the notorious camps were set up for political prisoners first (sorry far right cunts, but they were Jewish political prisoners mainly.)

A great many pale. male and stale experts here to give it the necessary gravitas, and sadly Ash Sarkar as well, delivering one of the greatest lines in this. They killed Communists, now read that with a whiny inflection to your voice.  Class.

His Dark Materials (Northern Lights)

Big Sunday night drama from the BBC here. Never read the books and heard it was pretty good and gives god a right kicking. There are armoured polar bears, daemons and the inquisition killing kids for prevent original sin.  It all hinges on dust in the frozen north and some kid from this world.

Tasmania.

A documentary that I can't really remember much about, but according to notes we have a swaggering platypus in this and massive river lobsters too.

Viking Burial Channel 4

This is focused on Repton in Derbyshire, where a mass grave and tentative settlement had been uncovered.  Radiocarbon dates were screwed up to due to their habit of eating large amounts of fish. If you ever see it around, please take a look, its a good show.


Miranda awards for televisual excressence.

Just as there was brilliant shows there must be absolute bollocks for this to carry on.

The God Code.

A thoroughly horrible documentary. One of the history channel's favourites I'm afraid. It involves looking through more and more ancient Torah's to see patterns for things that may not come true. It opines that the Ark of the Covenant if found will hold the worlds most perfect Torah, if found and a weird Tabula Rasa based on Michael Drosnin's research (not him though.)

The Mary Rose.

Adding woke trash to the uncovering of the titular galleon, raised from the Solent back in the 1980's.  With some weird race based take on the skeletons hauled up from the depths. Apparently two of them were North Africans and a few were Europeans rather than British. 

It ignores the fact that, A. It's a ship and can sail anywhere along the European coast, and B. that London and the other southern port towns were actually quite cosmopolitan back then.

7 Continents

Sad to put an Attenborough down here but, this is a dystopian look at man and his effect on the planet. For every look at a rare and threatened creature we see (Iberian Lynx, Whales resurgent and freezing albatross chicks) there is a sledgehammer of guilt on how we as human's have fucked up. 

If extinction rebellion did documentaries, this is the sort of thing I suspect it would come up with. I guess there are no real answers here, more environmentally friendly power generating sources from renewable supplies, eating bugs and never procreating. Ever.

Honourable mentions.

The music in Killing Eve, Simmons getting pissed in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the worlds oldest mummified cunt on channel 4's Egypt documentary triptych.



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