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Sunday, 5 April 2015

Election special.

Happy Easter everyone, if you haven't guessed its election time here in the UK, which means its time for broken promises and grandstanding on a huge scale.  It also means the current coalition is going to be a new coalition.  On Thursday there was a massive 7 way orgy debate on TV, where it was supposed to show who you would vote for and who definitely it wouldn't be getting in.

Needless to say I didn't watch it but read a bit through the forums, news and the press.  What I can say is that if they were going out of their way to make them seem unelectable they succeeded.

I give you my own run down in my own inimitable (I.E tiresome and surreal) style on the winners and losers.

David Insincere. Conservative.

To be honest I really don't like him either as a PM or as a speaker. Every word he says comes across as fake and insincere.  I normally vote Conservative due to where I live being a perma labour borough since way back.  You could put a shaved ape in a red rosette where I live and people would still vote for it as their Labour candidate.  Currently whenever I think of a Tory its a privileged buffoon like Mayor Boris or sinister baldie's like William Hague or Ian and Duncan Smith.  There are a few good eggs like Michael Gove who wanted to kick the lefites out of school teaching, but in the end was shunted off to another post.  No currently the reason why they will not get  my vote at this election is due to not understanding what makes the internet great.  

They have been waging a one dork war on smut and filth, one of the main reasons that the internet is such a great place to be.  I've never shied away from the fact that  I love the "pron" and the Tories don't get it that smut made the Internet what it is.  Most of what they are proposing has already come to pass, most adult star sites are age restricted and setting up another layer of bureaucracy to police sites that are mostly hosted outside the UK is going to be a waste of tax payers money.

Ed Mr Bean.  Labour.

I've nailed my colours to the mast as noted above but its a dark day when this actually comes to pass when he is considered an electable , representative of parliament. Labour are typical left leaning which means they range from tiresome cunts such as the socialist wanker party to the smug Islington champagne socialists, I.E everyone you ever saw on the BBC.  Typical weak on the economy, strong on equality, expect them to be the saviour of the NHS, but don't, crucially, expect them to come up with any decent figures of how to pay off our debts and deal with austerity.  They probably won't close the food banks either.

Nick 'Middle Manager' Clegg. Liberal Democrats

Face it there is a certain person who is destined to be middle management, in looks and deeds then its Nick.  The Libs are your typical 3rd place party, typically doing well at a local level but never actually succeeding much beyond a few token seats.  The press have painted him as largely Tyrion Bannister in a sharp suit (i.e a cold, duplicitous weasel, thwarting the brave Prime Minister at every turn).  I don't see it as such but he did shed most of his policies for a shot at power.  The effect is that they have slipped down massively and currently enjoy the popularity normally reserved for swivel eyed racists and Monster Raving Loonies.

 Wee Nicola Fish Scots Nazis.

The Scots National Party are a sort of proper socialist party, kinda like what Labour was, if it thought that those policies would get them elected anymore.  I did have a soft spot for them in the Scottish elections last year but, they seem to be run by a woman who looked like my old form teacher (and held the same views politically).  Will probably do well north of the border where anyone right wing is strangled at birth.

Nigel Farrago. mUdKIP.

Have a soft spot for Nige, but not really his policies.  He comes across as the archetypal pub bore, holding court with pint in hand from either bar or from the saloon.  UKIP, I'm never really sure where they stand, for one they want to do away with the NHS and institue some  hideous American private system.  I wouldn't mind some Australian style system for controlling immigration, and as a population we get no say on immigration thanks to anyone putting up a reasonable debate is immediately branded a racist and all dissent is shut down.  Personally I have some reservations thanks to open borders (you need housing and infrastructure, to deal with an influx, all of which is at a premium, which  is why we want controls, there that wasn't so racist was it) that regardless of my own people are we set up to deal with all these people.

They will probably do quite well at the polls maybe even take a few councils and gain a few seats, but I don't see them lasting, come a by election, they'll be first up against the wall.

Welsh bird Plaid Album. /  Leftie Airhead Green Party

I'm lumping these final two together as they didn't really do much, the greens are your typical protest vote full of wacky policies and environmental nonsense over a thin veneer of Left Wing rubbish.  Plaid are strictly a Wales only party and generally supplant the Tories and Lib Dems for second place. Like the SNP they do not run in England so will not impact much on English stuff.

Green's will probably do well and already run Brighton and Hove (think of the English San Franscisco and you'll be right) maybe a protest vote for all those left wingers disillusioned with Labour kinda like what the right is with UKIP. 

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