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Thursday, 25 December 2014

Merry Christmas Everyone.

You know the drill by now, today we will do the TV and a few other bits and pieces including Youtube stuff and nonsense, and we will give you our ''coveted'' Miranda awards for Televisual Hell for 2014.

Incidentally acid fans tomorrows Boxing day broadcast will be our 303rd so expect some Silver box magic in our round of music, if I don't forget half of it.

OK Best things of the year TV wise is.

Chasing Shadows.

Reece Shearsmith (League of  Gentlemen) is an autistic detective bounced to the Missing Persons Bureau run by River Song from Dr Who (Alex Kingston). His boss is Useless Mickey also from Dr. Who (Noel Clarke, someone I've never actually liked in anything), it drags in places but for a local like me the sheer joy is the implausible nature of some of the places, which is getting a 53 bus to Thamesmead and Woolwich having an open air DLR station.

Remember Me.

Michael Palin is an old guy living alone, haunted by the fact that he is well haunted by his Indian nanny who died in a boat accident when he was young man.   Absolutely atmospheric with some dark touches, that remind me of Hideo Nakatas Dark Water, the rain and the Cowrie shells turning up en mass, an off season Whitby being as bleak as the English Seashore can be off season, and Scarborough Fair played out at odd times.

Channel 4 The Paedo next door.

Genuinely ground breaking work talking to an actual non offending paedo and offering treatment for his disease rather than the kneejerk reactions of hang 'em all (which don't work).  

Further honourable mentions go to, Gotham, Agents of  Shield and Dr Who for the sheer temerity to turn the moon into some sort of Cosmic Duck (wasn't of course), and Harry Hill reprising his TV Burp role in Professor Branestawm (if your remaking books from my childhood next BBC can we have Bangers and Mash they were ace).

Miranda Awards. Has got a rather documentary approach this year.

Barry'd Treasure.

Terrible pun aside this is what happens when you take the only interesting guy out of Storage Wars and give him a half baked show driving round with weirdo's.  It doesn't work, its boring and worse of all Barry Weiss is only cool when he's in Storage Wars, its not the worse thing I've seen this year, that would up next but its still not the best.

America Unearthed.

Had to type in about Vikings in Arizona, to remember the title of this, but fuck me, this is utter speculative garbage of the highest order.  Case in point, the viking episode that they had a rock full of runes up in a cave in the north of Arizona, problem is the rock is missing now and, he literally makes it up as he goes along, speculating like a bastard that the vikings could have been here but really weren't.


You liked Time Team right?.  Would you like it better if  it was presented by shouty hyperactive Americans running around shouting awesome on some no mark Civil War battlefield whilst looking for the relics of General Custard.  Then bingo here's your fucking show. Thirty minutes of  archaeological whooping and hollering, while your intelligence slowly slides into your shins.

Chanel 5. Advert.

That somebody thought that a slow version of You're The One That I Want needed to be made, and added to some hideous little twat with a paedo beard (I'm pretty sure its the cunt from the mentalist) poncing about with his white bread little life.  Successfully parodied with the Arthur Mullard version up on my channel its only marginally better, but still horrible.

Worthy mentions that will not be elaborated on.

Citizen Khan. It looks like someone really wanted to make a sitcom from 1992 but with none of the humour.
Sainsbury's Advert. Because War has never been so much fun.

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