Holiday part 2 The Televisioning

So there was quite a bit of stuff going on whilst I was away and that, its a little stale in my mind right now and after detailing all the trips out I made last time it only seems fair that I give you a run down on what else was happening.

We stayed at the Golden Hotel Taurus Park in Pineda De Mar, an excellent complex dealing in fine food and drink (seriously I put on about 2 pounds having pancakes for breakfast alone) and entertainment.  My room was pokey but did at least have a flat screen TV and had a niceish view of some satellite dishes and the main road.  They had a small zoo in the grounds comprising mainly of Pheasants and a lairy Peacock that predictibly we called Captain.  They also had ducks and as I love ducks this made them go up about 25% in my estimation.

These are royal ducks in spanish.

Going out of resort, Pineda de mar itself seems to have a lot of ducks as well including various places bedecked with china ducks.  The main resort was dominated by the train line running paralell to the beach providing a regular service to Blanes and in the other direction Barcelona Hospital.  The beach itself wasn't that much, dominated by coarse sand that is the near equivalent of top dressing and a sharply shelving seashore means swimming was not on the menu.

However the real meat of course is that big flat screen TV and thanks to a bastard bout of insomnia you'll get a load of stuff on channels and content. 

First up the English.  BBC1, ITVs 1-4 but not 3 and CiTV, BBC World service (possibly the worst news in the world) and the obscurites that make life living.

Fashion TV dedicated to catwalk models and modelling clothes, lots of women who could do with a good meal and the associated benders and fag hags that make up the fashion scene. 

God channels 3ABN and Sonshine TV a Filipino based outfit pumping out Jesus 24/7 run by plastinated freaks. 

ITV remains horrible but for Harry Hill doing You've been Frames and Ben Shepard gameshow Tipping point coming on like a real life version of Coindozer.

French TV is boring as fuck. Seemingly endless talk shows that blur into one and homegrown cartoons.  We did see a modern version of Garfield in french but thanks to it voice acting it just made him sound manic depressive.

Germany.
RTL is something I'd heard of from satellite days (I always wanted to see Raumschiff enterprise untill I found out its just Star Trek in German). They had a few variants including SuperRTL (in fact we saw Spirited Away and its still ace even if you can't understand it) and its largely good you can't really go wrong with German stuff.  Also if you ever see Warehouse 13 in German whoever voices Artie has him spot on.

Belgium. BVM is the sole Dutch channel and what I saw of it seemed to be OK. 

Russia. We hit the motherlode with mother Russia.  With a variety of channels and our only other home for Christ in all his works, Russia soon became our favourite for weirdness.

TVRUS. (russian language)
This we readily corrupted to say TViRUS, thanks to Resident Evil.  It was home to a few oddments including a weird morning program with a funny looking old lady.  I deeply regret the one where she was looking over cucumbers and gherkins (I kid you not), if you ever saw Harry Enfields character Jurgen the German she was a dead ringer for him.

Nasch TV (Permanently borked)
This is the other goldmine. It housed some of my favourite things, an old Stories Without Words style cartoon about a Ginger cat in the sea that sank boats, heres a short clip.
Also there was an intensly strange morning television show kind hosted by two women that was deeply erotic though as I don't speak a lick of Russian probably wasn't.  Heres another short clip.
What you didn't see and Sadly I didn't catch was  them feeding each other fruit before hand.

Other stuff included an Armenian station a Macedonian station and a few God spots.  Including Soyuz TV which was Orthodox complete with priests with big bushy paedophile beards.

Finally the greatest variety, Spanish TV.  I can speak a bit of Spanish but the rate its spoken on TV is rapid so basically if you want local news be prepared to read like a bastard.  It was also home to late night porn channels detailed below.

NEOX had Viewtiful Joe anime dubbed into spanish, which I never knew existed. There was shedloads of Doraemon mainly on Kids TV Boing its never ever been translated (along with Captain Tsubasa) but remains entertaining nonetheless.   I saw Big Brother at like 3am and even then it still didn't put me to sleep. 
They have MTV in Spain and even dubbed its a waste of fucking time. They had Welsh fuckwit show The Valleys dubbed and its still cock awful. They also had a spanish original based on Alaska (of Raskayu fame) she / he seems to have been to the same school as Pete Burns as I couldn't make out what sex he / she was.

Finally I promised you teh pron, so here are all the channels that have some adult content as far as I could tell.
BOM / 8TV. Catalan language SFW.
These were largely the same deal some stripping plus onscreen text chat. We have it in the UK but it seems largely for a Gay audience and there is no stripping. 

Martv Catalan Public Access.

Largely stripping in the wee small hours, some women a bit ropey but there were a few stunners there. Seems to be between 12.30 till 5.30, Rest of the time is public access television with parochial ads and at the moment some dumb stage play.

10000 and 1 Views.

Well that was amazing we've just come back from a nice holiday in Pineda De Mar (Nice Informative Spanish Link here) and was quite amazed that we've reached the 10000 views mark. Congratulations to all that have visited and heres to ten thousand more.

On sadder note it seems that the Casino Leisure arcade on Goodge street has finished its remodelling into a slot arcade, theres fuck all to recommend here its all slots and its now called crystal casino.  Truly sad and feels like the end of an era.

Holiday.

This is a round up of a few trips out on holiday and a few bits and pieces of interest.  First up is the garden tour in Blanes and nearby Lloret De Mar.

This is a lot better signposted than the Botanicactus trip I undertook last year and there will be no samaritans this time.  Taking advantage of excellent train links (theres a RENFE line running right by the beach) we could take the train in style to Blanes and catch a connecting bus to either Lloret de mar or Blanes.  First up is the Marimurtra gardens in Blanes. 

Marimurtra

This is situated on a steep climb at the top of the cliffs overlooking the harbour, if you can walk it then its worth it but less fitter people can take the Garden bus up (we did this in Lloret). Once at the top though the views are excellent, taking in the harbour and various gulls nesting on the flat rooves, well worth a slow walk up.  The gardens are 6 euro to get in and you get an extra 2 for 1 tickets for other gardens at  Lloret once you are up there though its worth it.  Cactus fans will be overjoyed, there is an extensive macronesian flora as well as shorter sections on South Africa and the Americas.  Stuff was well grown and was at least correctly named. They had other stuff including a small cafe and a cracking Magnolia in flower that drew all the bees.  Overall 7/10

Marimurtra Map

Tuberose at Marimurtra

 Lloret De Mar.

This was at a later date and we took full advantage of the garden bus this time.  Its about a mile outside Lloret the two gardens we were visiting and if you make you way down to the harbour the stop you want is just outside the tourist office / museum.  It'll cost you 10 euro for this trip as this is both a joint day pass bus ticket / garden pass giving you free entry to one garden and half price to another.  Oh and antother thing get there early or be prepared to make a day of it as the bus takes an obligitary siesta at 1pm and doesn't resume till 4pm.  We walked back and can appreciate how far this is of the beaten track (you'll never find them without the bus even though they are well signposted) but for now here are the two gardens.

Jardin de Santa Clotilde

In a cactaceous departure this is a much more traditional garden complete with cypresses and formal planting.  We thought it was either the grounds to a religious order or a large manor house / Hacienda, but it turns out the gardens are a memorial to the wife of the owner.  They had largely formal planting and edging, complete with some stunning views framed by mature trees it was remarkably cool and clear.  Much more italiante in style like something from Piedmont or Tuscany.  It costs 5 euros to get in, but you normally get this one free from the bus / garden ticket combo.
Overall 6/10

Look down to the Sea.

Pinya de Rosa

This was the final stop on the tour and was the cheapest to enter at 4 Euros which we got in half price.
This was the most oddest and a polar opposite to Santa Clotilde, a pure cactus garden complete with hand printed leaflet and blazing sunshine.  I felt it was on its last legs or at least in terminal decline, and if you ever went to the cactus garden on Tenerife outside Los Christianos,  then it feels like that.  What they had was quite lovely though and its largely stands of Cereus, Cleistocactus and other tall columnar types as well as majoring in tall cacti  they had much more to see including a lot of Opuntias in flower.  Warning a lot of the names are outdated or just switched around, however its a slight niggle and there are many opportunities for great photos.  They have an area with peacocks and at the very bottom a large pond, shaded and with fish and dragonflies. 
Overall 7/10

This was nice.

Opuntias at Pinya de Rosa

Drummer Lee.

Untill yesterday, I hadn't really paid much attention to the whole Woolwich terrorist thing.  True I've seen bits and pieces on the news and in the papers, and even watched clips of  the two suspects being shot on line, but what I hadn't done was take a trip up there and see the site where it all happened. 

Yesterday I decided to take a trip up to the Meridian bootsale and en route stop off and look at all the floral tributes laid out.  Its actually really heartbreaking and poignant to see everyones tributes, most are where you would expect them to be (where he died at the junction of Rectory Road and John Wilson Street) but there was also more outside the Army Barracks as well.

As well as poems and messages there were a few Man U shirts (which I didn't like as I support Liverpool) as well as massive amount of flowers and a action man.  Reading various tributes from army personnel, islamic leaders and concerned members of the public it shows just how heartfelt this was and such a shock that this happened.   There were a few people with me also looking as well as a healthy police presence too (supposedly there would be a BNP march from the barracks but Scotland Yard prevented it from going ahead) just in case something happened. 

The bootsale wasn't so bad, with the fair amount of chinese selling electrical stuff including what looked like an analogue synth of some description and a big Concertmate toy organ (both of which I'd have snapped up if I wasn't walking home).  We got a PS2 game Strikers 45 1+2 from Play it (Psikyo) and some good records including
Bravo Free on Quark Records,
Adriano Celetano prisencolinensinainciusol
Jay Mondi Take me away (cover of Bridget Grace / Pin up Girls classic)
and Nicolette O Si Ne Ne on the excellent Shut up and dance records label.

Finally I'll leave you with this leaflet I picked up recently which seems to sum up everyones feelings perfectly.

R.I.P Lee.