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Sunday, 12 February 2012

They caught him raping a chocobo...

Sorry about the heading, but it looks like our old buddies at Square-Enix are doing a George Lucas with regards to FFXIII.  I had a great love of  Final Fantasy, but recently, I've played an instore demo of this and man does it suck.  We also had a mess about with a PSV (Eindhoven Ed) in game and its a nice bit of kit, its just that all the western games lined up for this look like total cock.  We'll wait for a new version of Persona 4 is localised (or there is custom firmware / sub £100 price point before we wade in with our review fists fully primed, so around 2020 then).

Before our feature presentation, a brief discussion of what we are doing.

We decided to take a trip uptown, for a general look around of stuff and see if there was any fun at all.  The short answer was weirdness seemed to dog us the whole trip.  First of all the train broke down at Greenwich, so we decided to hoof it via bus to the Elephant and Castle, somewhere I visited a lot when I was little (my dads side of the family is from Walworth / Bermondsey) and we actually did community college around that area when unemployed.  Its been 15 or so years since I had any reason to poke through that area. 

First up though we got saddled with a nutter on the bus, a black guy with a Hi Vis coat and a guitar.  He started to sing and managed to crack up most of the bus, his voice was somewhat like Butters from South Park, making it one of the most fucked things I've seen in my life.  We also noticed that there was an increasing amount of hall churches including one with a spanish signs out front which was unusual.  We got off at the Elephant and decided to poke around the shopping centre, which possibly could possibly be described as moribund.   The only big commercial place was a Smiths and it had to contend with a variety of smaller stall places selling all sorts of odd stuff.  They had a reasonable independant game place, and a shop that sold Colombian and Ecuadorian products, which leads me to believe that there is a sizable South American community there.  After a lot of searching we got the tube out and followed on.

The leisure casino has a new pinball in, AC/DC, so if you like to rawk then this isn't a bad table at all (maybe styled on last years Rolling Stones table).  But apart from that you want to know about Square Enix raping a chocobo. 

There was a demo station up in HMV Oxford Street, our first impressions are totally meh, even though its the sequel to the much maligned and linear FF13, this feels like a redux of FFX instead.  Our current presets were that everything was set to autobattle, and you had fuck all control over the actual characters instead.  They also dumped you weirdly in something that looked like a frozen version of Zanarkand from FFX, not good at all.   Added to their woes is the iconic Chocobo theme is now a death metal version (we don't like guitars and actively despise Crisis Cores Metal drum n bass theme) and it really does feel like Squenix are raping all our collective memories.

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