Ayia napa

Back home now, and still feel under the weather.  Cyprus is hella nice, but coming back in at 12 midnight is hell. Especially trying to sleep on the plane and being moaned at by some waste of tits, because you're too tall for the seats and you keep knocking the back of her seat.

Anyway we'll do TV this week because its easier and Greek television is piss poor.  First time I've actually had to watch it as last time we didn't have a television until the last day, and all I can remember of that was Mr Magoo and the watchword from the previous hotel that Greek telly sucks.

PIK 1+2 are your main channels. Dull news programmes with bits of Euronews plugged in in Greek. There is a few other bits such as Sigma and Extra which seems to show only old Greek shows from the sixties and that, like a Greek Talking Pictures TV.  Also ANT1 which seems to have Greek wheel of fortune and nothing else memorable.

Russia had the bulk of the channels with T virus returning and a few others that we couldn't get such as whatever Service 65534 was and TV Coran which turned out to be a Muslim Channel.

In fact with Russia Toady Docs, including a Russian Blaire White look alike (a trans bloke called Dmitry) and something which seemed to be nothing but stand up.

My favourite had to be a weird children's sketch show on CTC / STS  called Yeralash which I took to be of Soviet Vintage (apparently was) until I clocked that one of the kids was wearing a Turtles T Shirt. 

I will detail some of the sketches I saw below.

A variation of the old who calls their parrot Jesus joke as two kids break into a house and help themselves to grub (another clue that this is not soviet era.) only to confront the parrot who calls for a dog to chase them out.

Two kids fake a bomb threat at the school, and clear everyone out. Feeling their joke has gone too far they say its a joke but their fake bomb turns out to be a real bomb and they get blown up. The Hardy boys did a variation of this to keep Chief Collig away in the original Tower Treasure.

A kid hides out in a jewellers shop and bothers the owner. Yeah not sure what went on here.

Finally my favourite is one where a kid bothers a pretty teacher. She goes to the park where he turns into a cuckoo.

The last strand is Arabic stuff on MBC. This is kind of like Film 4 but with obscure films subbed into Arabic.  So if you want Need for Speed or The Iron Lady at weird hours or more main stream the Tim Burton Alice films this is your go to place.

MBC 2 seems to show nothing but bastard Friends subbed in Arabic which is hell and MBC 3 is your kids show with what looks like Hodja from street racing as its branding. We saw some of that Yugioh! on bikes and around 3 am. Not the most easiest time to watch something dubbed in arabic you have a passing knowledge of.

Finally there is some bollywood stuff and a few home shopping channels that seem to only have weight loss and a lame looking tip o magic style floor sweeper.

Edit updated with a few infos and photos and added Prime Tel which seems to show nothing but football (mostly La Liga) as well as being a mobile and internet provider.