Alfies Army

I'll never be a dad, and I know that because I'm baffled by all this.  For those that don't know who this is, its a little scouse kid with a congenital genetic degenerative brain disorder that sadly died.  The parents were arguing in court for him to be taken to the Vatican City for treatment but Alder Hey have rightly slammed it and in the end they backed down and took him home for his final hours.  There is some heated debate about a cure being denied on the NHS, and this includes the first weapon of the utter twat, death threats to specific nurses and surgeons.

Fun fact whatever care the Vatican would be prepared to offer, it would have only been palliative care, the same he received in the UK. In fact due to his condition and degeneration I hoped he would have made it to his second birthday, but of course he died.

Even worse, it seems the fat hand of thick Americans have waded in, with none of the nuance or understanding of the situation, blaming the NHS and some clumsily barbed gun control bollocks too ...  its a shit show all round.

I didn't take an interest first up, but then someone I knew posted some tweets about this (especially his fuck witted army protesting) and it got me hooked.  I saw a run down on his condition in a thread by a paediatrician posted up but as Twitter is a cunt to search properly there is an excellent laymans terms explanation from the Liverpool Echo.  My take is really one of devils advocate here, I'm not remotely religious and think the Hospital Alder Hey have done the right thing here.  My heart goes out to the parents in all this and that I hope they'll never forget him and remember him with fondness.

The other reason, I'm not a dad is that it reminds me of the sketch smart pipes from Jam.  Ooh you're so hot.

 

Necrolog

Seems to me that there's been a spate of deaths recently among people I could give a damn about. I'll list them in decreasing give a fuck order if you will.  Starting with

DALE WINTON

This guy was Mr Saturday night for most of us, due to either The Wall on BBC but much more likely In It To Win It, a lottery show that was much better than it had any right to be.  He was the camp perma-tanned host bringing a bit of glam to the show and before cutting out to the lottery results with a grannyish looking Gaby Roslin. You may also know him for Supermarket Sweep from the mid 90's and what I didn't know was that he worked for Lifestyle TV back in cable days when it showed the original version with David Ruprecht  as host.  I will miss the big orange guy he genuinely alright and reminds me of a number of gay friends I've known over the years.

Verne Troyer.

Heard today in the press that mini me had died, you know him best as well.. Mini Me from Austin Powers the Movie a spoof James Bond that long outlived its usefulness in the late 90's / early 2000's.
He also did casino ads on the TV BGO if memory serves correct.  He seemed to really enjoy them even though its pretty much all there is on TV nowadays.

/\ \/ I C I I 

This one is probably the most out of the blue of all.  He was only 28 and it appears been suffering with ill health after an operation.  The thing is I hated most of what he stood for and his music, that shallow EDM with its build up and I know its speaking ill of the dead but I can't praise him for making these tracks.  Fair play for reintroducing dance music back to America and such but now they think everything will sound like half baked europop and the worst excesses of Brostep. and hell, dance music is much bigger than all of that. 

Emperors Birthday

No post tomorrow as I have stuff to do.  Looking to put in this years seed as usual and check through what can be culled from the greenhouse as usual.

EDIT. We've replaced our blog title image for a new one not drawn in MS Paint.  Its Marm from Cole and Marmalade if you're wondering, where this ginger guy is from. I know its a cheeky thing to do, to put it up without asking but I have been a fan of his for a long time and when this popped up on my news feed this was the perfect image for the blog.

Radio X Top 100.

Well that wish post seems to have gone down well, and as a side effect has cleared the air in my head.  Also gives some venting to stuff that would just build and build. Anyhow on with the show.

Radio X (possibly the best new wave band that never was ED.) which I'm told is what XFM is called now, have brought out a top one hundred of the best of British Music (Partial List here) with what can only be described as a lack of diversity.  Seriously, there's 15 Oasis tracks alone in there which is 15 too many for my liking and apart from Blue Monday no synth stuff at all.
Here through no fault of my own is my partial top 100 list.

1. APHEX TWIN Flim.
2. 808 STATE. Pacific State.
3. ORBITAL Halcyon and On.
4. KATY B On a Mission.
5. F.S.O.L. Papua New Guinea.
6. RISING HIGH COLLECTIVE Fever Called Love.
7. A GUY CALLED GERALD Automanikk.
8. CEEPHAX ACID KREW Emotinium
9. SOFT CELL A Man Could Get Lost.
10. HUMAN LEAGUE Do or Dub.
11. DEPECHE MODE People Are People.
12. MAD PROFESSOR Fast Forward In Dub.
13. THE POLICE Walking On The Moon
14. BRONSKI BEAT Small Town Boy.
15. SOFT CELL Tainted Love.
16. FATBOY SLIM Praise You.
17. MASSIVE ATTACK Unfinished Sympathy.
18. APHEX TWIN Heliospan.
19. HUMANOID Stakker.
20. HUMANOID Tonight.
21. MC DUKE I'm Riffin.
22. HUMAN LEAGUE Being Boiled.
23. DELIA DERBYSHIRE / RON GRAINER Doctor Who Theme.
24. MIKE ASH A is For Acid.
25. SURGEON Krautrock.
26. WHITE NOISE Love Without Sound.
27. PET SHOP BOYS Your Funny Uncle.
28. EURYTHMICS. Sweet Dreams.
29. SHUT UP AND DANCE. Lamborghini.
30. MR SCRUFF Ug.
31 COLDCUT. My Telephone.
32. YAZZ Fine Time.
33. YAZOO Goodbye 70's.
34. MASSIVE ATTACK Teardrop.
35. BURIAL In McDonalds.
36. THE ROLLING STONES. Paint It Black.
37.  DJ XTC Functions On The Low.
38. ELLIE GOULDING Lights.
39.  THE SHAMEN Possible Worlds.
40. SQUAREPUSHER. I Wish You Could Talk.
41. ACE OF CLUBS Cordial.
42. CAUSTIC WINDOW On the Romance Tip.
43. CHEMICAL BROTHERS Electronic Battle Weapon.
44. AUTECHRE Rsdio.
45. NEW AGE STEPPERS Some Loving
46. BANANARAMA Cruel Summer.
47. LISA STANSFIELD People Hold On.
48. THE BEATLES Day In The Life. (Big beat but in the 1960's)
49. MADNESS House Of Fun
50. UZIQ Crosstown Traffic.

Hell lets do the final 50, though its getting harder to pick genuine great tracks.

51. KLF What Time is Love.
52. LITTLE BOOTS Click
53. RADIOHEAD Idioteque
54. CLIFF RICHARD AND THE YOUNG ONES Living Doll (the only charity single worth a damn)
55. THE SPECIALS Ghost Town.
56. UB40 One In Ten.
57. FREDDIE MERCURY Love Kills
58. BABY FORD Disconoddy. 
59. THE BOO RADLEYS Wake Up Boo.
60. THE PRODIGY Charly
61. ALTERN8 Domin8.
62. THE RAH BAND Clouds Across The Moon
63. SLADE Merry Xmas Everyone. (Iconic the start of xmas for me)
64. COLDCUT. Find A Way.
65. YAZOO. Situation
66. THE ORB Star 5,6,7,8
67. PENGUIN CAFE ORCHESTRA Scherzo and Trio
68. GOLDIE Inner City Life.
69. GRAPHITE Pure.
70. PAUL MCCARTNEY Check My Machine
71. FATBOY SLIM Everybody Needs A 303.
72. NICOLETTE No Government.
73. THE SHAMEN Ebeneezer Goode.
74. OASIS Falling Down (the whole 23 minute Amorphous Androgynous remix of course)
75. WHITEHOUSE Why You Never Became A Dancer.
76. MIKE OLDFIELD Tubular Bells (my dad loves this)
77. THE ORB Blue Room
78. THROBBING GRISTLE Hot on The Heels Of Love.
79. NEW ORDER Confusion
80. V/VM Angels
81. APHEX TWIN Milkman.
82. APHEX  TWIN 28 Organ.
83. ORBITAL Chime
84. PET SHOP BOYS In The Club Or In The Queue
85. IAN DRURY AND THE BLOCKHEADS Reasons To Be Cheerful PT3
86. DAVE CLARKE Wisdom To The Wise
87. JOHNATHAN DUNN Robocop Theme
88. LFO LFO
89. KATE BUSH Running Up That Hill
90. CABARET VOLTAIRE Nag Nag Nag
91. NITZER EBB Join In The Chant.
92. ORBITAL Belfast
93. KIM WILDE Kids In America
94, BLUR Parklife
95. OPUS III Its a Fine Day
96. PRODIGY Voodoo People
97. SHAKESPEARS SISTER Dirty Mind
98. CHRIS AND COSEY Driving Blind
99. DEPECHE MODE Policy Of Truth
100, ELO Mr Blue Sky

Edits galore here just so you know. Edited out some lazy choices and put in some overlooked things.

My WIsh.

Been thinking a lot about what happened a year ago when some cunt cold called me saying he was police then proceeded to scam me out of thousands.  I will NOT forgive him though and rather than wish him and his accomplices would be tortured to death slowly, have come up with a compromise.

I would like to have 3 wishes, say for convenience that I've come across a magic lamp with a genie in through some nefarious means.  Thrown out at work would be my best bet, and through cleaning we have a genie appear and say I now have 3 wishes.

My first wish is to know exactly how many people took part in defrauding me, the fake cop,  the courier, the woman on the phone, and any other people that are part of the gang, and their exact location now.

My second wish is for the spells teleport and polymorph any object from the D+D players handbook to be cast with no saves and all modifiers applied in full. Any transformation lasts 8000 divided by 12 months ( a total of 666.666 years recurring)  unless I wish them to assume another form (still no save, form my discretion). The idea is to morph the person into a ring binder comprising there entire life, (preface is a litany of their crimes against me, the rest being the sum of their life experience in searchable form, and teleport them to my house to be read at leisure.


I 'd like to read through any knowledge contained in those binders, copy, scan and shuffle each life story into one pile discarding at random from each book, life skills and memories.  Severity of data loss is equal to your involvement, so fake cop you're going to have your life shuffled and most of it either shredded and burnt and  recombined with that blank pages, I'd say total corruption would be about 90%.  I'd like all life skills to be in an easy to read pictorial format, same goes for all your life moments.  Unlike you I don't want bank details, only what your life held.

Finally my third wish.  When I've finished reading through your life, and judged you on your actions, I want to change your form again, I'd like a Real Doll to be made from the fake bank bitch (final form negotiable), a pile of cash equal to be made out of the courier guy and for fake cop to be morphed back into a human with the instruction to go home by the most direct route imaginable and live out what I've left of your life.  If there are anymore players then I want them to remain as binders to contain all that I've removed from everyone,  their own lives included.
Happy Easter.