Been thinking a lot about what happened a year ago when some cunt cold called me saying he was police then proceeded to scam me out of thousands. I will NOT forgive him though and rather than wish him and his accomplices would be tortured to death slowly, have come up with a compromise.
I would like to have 3 wishes, say for convenience that I've come across a magic lamp with a genie in through some nefarious means. Thrown out at work would be my best bet, and through cleaning we have a genie appear and say I now have 3 wishes.
My first wish is to know exactly how many people took part in defrauding me, the fake cop, the courier, the woman on the phone, and any other people that are part of the gang, and their exact location now.
My second wish is for the spells teleport and polymorph any object from the D+D players handbook to be cast with no saves and all modifiers applied in full. Any transformation lasts 8000 divided by 12 months ( a total of 666.666 years recurring) unless I wish them to assume another form (still no save, form my discretion). The idea is to morph the person into a ring binder comprising there entire life, (preface is a litany of their crimes against me, the rest being the sum of their life experience in searchable form, and teleport them to my house to be read at leisure.
I 'd like to read through any knowledge contained in those binders, copy, scan and shuffle each life story into one pile discarding at random from each book, life skills and memories. Severity of data loss is equal to your involvement, so fake cop you're going to have your life shuffled and most of it either shredded and burnt and recombined with that blank pages, I'd say total corruption would be about 90%. I'd like all life skills to be in an easy to read pictorial format, same goes for all your life moments. Unlike you I don't want bank details, only what your life held.
Finally my third wish. When I've finished reading through your life, and judged you on your actions, I want to change your form again, I'd like a Real Doll to be made from the fake bank bitch (final form negotiable), a pile of cash equal to be made out of the courier guy and for fake cop to be morphed back into a human with the instruction to go home by the most direct route imaginable and live out what I've left of your life. If there are anymore players then I want them to remain as binders to contain all that I've removed from everyone, their own lives included.
Happy Easter.
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Showing posts with label Maths. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Maths. Show all posts
Sunday, 1 April 2018
Sunday, 1 November 2015
Maths stuff.
Been watching Dave Gorman's Modern Life is Goodish on Dave. Its either that or bastard Casualty and to be honest its no contest at all. Its a good poke at modern life, and this week was about market research in all its glory, if you can find clips of this, the segment on YouGov is a real eye opener. Its got me thinking about some maths based stuff (yes America it has an S at the end unlike Lego which doesn't) and a few ads and things. Oh and you'll also learn some stuff about how to do base maths but not division as I can't divide.
The first up is various beauty product ads, if you note the small print on the bottom of them, they give trial sizes (which are often small) expressed as a percentage of people taking part. Take for instance some junk from L'Oreal, a new Jizz facial cream with new amino acid a (it doesn't exist of course), they'll give the trial size, lets say 186 women and a percentage, oh put it at 86% of those that were happy with it.
Now of course on TV that stuff is blink and miss it gone but we have numbers written down so we can work it out. Warning for those maths averse its going to get a lot harder, you will want a pencil and paper at hand to work stuff out, hopefully you'll learn stuff. I had to work this out for myself though some was taught at school.
10% of 186 is 18.6 (top tip. to find 10 percent of anything follow these rules.
How to find 10% of anything.
If it ends in anything other than a 0 put a dot between the last two digits.
If it ends in a 0 simply remove the end 0 to find 10% of everything.
Oh and if your number is just a single digit put 0. in front of it. this should get you 10% of anything.
You can then multiply 18.6 by 8 to get this
18.6
x8
-----
148.8
-----
10x8= 80 Start with the largest first this is the 1 that makes up 18 as you can see its really a 10.
8x8= 64 Next start with the next largest.
0.6 x8 = 4.8 finally the lowest if its a number like this you can use normal multiplication 6x8 and add a dot between the 4 and the 8 to get the right result.
Finally with all the results in you can add them together.
80
64 +
4.8 to get 148.8
Incidentally the way I add is no different except you should be looking for things to make 10 naturally. If you have a few numbers such as 8, 3, 7 and 2 you would add the 8 and 2 and 7 and 3 together to make 20. In that case where there is no natural split you can make 10 out the 8 and 6 by taking 2 off the 6 and adding it to the 8 leaving 4 to add making it 14.
Now with 80% worked out you can find out the remaining 6% by breaking that 186 into a 1% chunk and you do that the same way you did 10% except you place the decimal point behind the first number, in this case behind the 1 like this. 1.86. If its a single digit you put 00. in front of it.
You can multiply 1.86 by 6 to get this.
1.86
x6
11.16
Which breaks down from the front like so.
6
4.80 remember that it'll need a decimal between the 4 and 8 here
0.36 this one requires a 0. in front of it to make it work.
Finally you can add together 148.8 and 11.16 to make 159.96.
which adds together like this.
148.8
11.16
--------
159.96
--------
As you can see (and what those with calculators have worked out 5 paragraphs back) that it doesn't break down to a perfect number and in this case the ad would round it up to the nearest whole number. So the tag line would be: 86% of 180 women tested 160 liked new L'Oreal Jizz facial to the other.
The first up is various beauty product ads, if you note the small print on the bottom of them, they give trial sizes (which are often small) expressed as a percentage of people taking part. Take for instance some junk from L'Oreal, a new Jizz facial cream with new amino acid a (it doesn't exist of course), they'll give the trial size, lets say 186 women and a percentage, oh put it at 86% of those that were happy with it.
Now of course on TV that stuff is blink and miss it gone but we have numbers written down so we can work it out. Warning for those maths averse its going to get a lot harder, you will want a pencil and paper at hand to work stuff out, hopefully you'll learn stuff. I had to work this out for myself though some was taught at school.
10% of 186 is 18.6 (top tip. to find 10 percent of anything follow these rules.
How to find 10% of anything.
If it ends in anything other than a 0 put a dot between the last two digits.
If it ends in a 0 simply remove the end 0 to find 10% of everything.
Oh and if your number is just a single digit put 0. in front of it. this should get you 10% of anything.
You can then multiply 18.6 by 8 to get this
18.6
x8
-----
148.8
-----
10x8= 80 Start with the largest first this is the 1 that makes up 18 as you can see its really a 10.
8x8= 64 Next start with the next largest.
0.6 x8 = 4.8 finally the lowest if its a number like this you can use normal multiplication 6x8 and add a dot between the 4 and the 8 to get the right result.
Finally with all the results in you can add them together.
80
64 +
4.8 to get 148.8
Incidentally the way I add is no different except you should be looking for things to make 10 naturally. If you have a few numbers such as 8, 3, 7 and 2 you would add the 8 and 2 and 7 and 3 together to make 20. In that case where there is no natural split you can make 10 out the 8 and 6 by taking 2 off the 6 and adding it to the 8 leaving 4 to add making it 14.
Now with 80% worked out you can find out the remaining 6% by breaking that 186 into a 1% chunk and you do that the same way you did 10% except you place the decimal point behind the first number, in this case behind the 1 like this. 1.86. If its a single digit you put 00. in front of it.
You can multiply 1.86 by 6 to get this.
1.86
x6
11.16
Which breaks down from the front like so.
6
4.80 remember that it'll need a decimal between the 4 and 8 here
0.36 this one requires a 0. in front of it to make it work.
Finally you can add together 148.8 and 11.16 to make 159.96.
which adds together like this.
148.8
11.16
--------
159.96
--------
As you can see (and what those with calculators have worked out 5 paragraphs back) that it doesn't break down to a perfect number and in this case the ad would round it up to the nearest whole number. So the tag line would be: 86% of 180 women tested 160 liked new L'Oreal Jizz facial to the other.
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