So here it is (Merry Christmas)

Merry Christmas if you're here it means only one thing. A round up of television and the annual Miranda's for television hell.

Blue Planet 2 Eelectric Boogaloo.

The bits I didn't fall asleep through were magic,worth an hour of your time.  Trans Wrasses, Donald Tuskfish that crack clams, Octopodes that hide in Coconuts and Galapagos sea lions corralling tuna in the shallows, totally living up to their names, you can read all about it, here.

Eastenders.

Still not good mind, but its better this year.  Max and Wilmott Brown and their "evil capitalist" scheme to bulldoze the square and kill poor people.  If it was true to life all the white folk would have moved to Essex ten years back, leaving a legacy of Polski skleps, hen cabins, and corner shops, the Vic would have totally become a pentecostal church, having said that though Dot would still be there.

The Orville.

Seth Macfarlane's parody of  Star Trek, and I can't shake the fact its a live action version of American Dad but so far it seems pretty good.  Massively overshadowed in the UK by Keith Harris and Orville, who star posthumously as engineers in episode 3, look out for Cuddles the Monkey as the Duck hating badguy.

Harry Hills Alien Fun Capsule.

Not the best concept, but worth it just to see him rip into guests and youtube footage of pranks and stuff.

Mr Biffos Found Footage.

Not strictly a TV show, but putting to shame many shows this year if only for the shoestring budget its filmed on.  The last episode is the best, being a totally straight sci fi film rather than the absurdist comedy of the previous episodes.  Although if you are into absurdist comedies then the whole "brownaround" episode is the best of the bunch.  TEEEEEEEEEEEEA

Miranda awards 2017.

I should make a note of these just to give you a warning for the hell I go through each year.

Mrs Browns Boys.

We sat through 10 minutes of this shit, while clearing out my aunts place in the summer.  The remote mysteriously locked up and we tried in vain to find new batteries while listening to her schtick.  It felt like an hour.

Michael Macintyre.

Hate him, anything he's in makes the list.  Another place where we were stuck for something to watch and failed.  He isn't funny, and much as I hate political comedy, this seems far worse.

 Len Goodmans Partners In Rhyme.

There is a tenth layer of hell just for this alone.  Len Goodman, Dartfords very own, nice old guy with a horrible rhyming concept. Survived 5 shows before being cancelled.  That says it all.