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Sunday, 26 October 2014

419 Scam Letter

Here is a odd thing we received in the mail during the week, and its probably the first one of these I've seen written rather than as a E Mail.
I'll print it in full here with certain bits amended to protect my privacy, you'll also get an inkling of what type of letter this is and the level of English this guy has.


Dear Potential Scammee*.

My name is Heng Xu, I am a** contacting you in relations to the late Kobe Bryant***, I worked for  him as his private investment manager, and in the few years prior to his death invested substantially in various opportunities.

After a few years of profit making, he instruted that all the money be collected together into a single bank account, and I arranged with a specialist bank here in China to secure the money in a single account, shortly after he died* I assumed his relatives has since made claims, only to get a phone call from the bank a few weeks ago that Charles funds remains unclaimed, and the money would go to the Government if nobody claims it.

The bank used international people finders**** to locate any relative of Charles but they failed to locate any, hence I have taken the initiative to make enquires myself, in the process I have been provided your details, I propose that we don't allow this money go to the Government and work together to legally secure this money in full compliance with the laws of China.

Kindly write back to me on the estate of late Mr. Bryant, kindly keep this communication confidential due to its sensitivity***** as we do not want this inheritance to fall into the wrong hands,

Heng Xu.

* Did call me by my real name but I thought this would be much more funnier as I clocked what the bastard was up to.

** I am a contacting. The first grammar slip up.  People who write these sort of letters do not have English as a first language (though judging by the state of peoples English around here neither do we English anymore).  .

*** Not my relatives real name, he was never a basketball star, and he definitely scraped the info off  Facebook as its the only place I've shared this info (a photo my cousin asked for), and the biggest flag for me, as the person in question died in WW2. Reread the letter with that info in mind and it becomes much more obvious he is a spammy cunt of the highest magnitude.

**** International People Finders. Just googled and these sorts of people do exist but surely is this something a legitimate bank would do. Not sure what the laws are in China for tracking down a young guy who died fighting the Hun in WW2, and never ever went to China especially to do business.

***** Yeah like you would keep quiet about this, potential money coming in you would shout from the rooftops, unless you were a total imbecile and they wanted to keep you quiet.  In stark contrast I cashed in an ISA this year and the letter they sent was much more professional, more business
like and actually had a proper address not some random Chinese and a fucking Hotmail account.

****** Don't know if the address is live or not as I'm not going to reply, if anyone wants to send unsolicited pictures of dogs or spam through sock puppet accounts the address is xu4494 at yahoo dot com with dot and at replaced with actual punctuation.  More worrying I never got a hit off the Chinese when I googled it. I did type this in via a combination of sljfaqs. kanji look up site and cojaks hanzi site and posted the result in  Firefox's search bar but never got a single hit that matched them all.

Anyway the short answer is this, if you ever get a letter in the post that sounds too good to be true, it is. If it sounds like any of these letters, its fake..

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