We normally don't talk about work, not that its forbidden or nowt but simply because its routine and boring, there's only so much you people could take before your eyes glaze over. However last friday we cleared out the grass bank at Galena. Its the mother of all slopes at the back of our tea room and largely a dangerous place.
Doing so we managed to find about 6 Slow Worms hidden underneath various bags and stones, ranging from small coppery coloured youngsters to a large brown adult male, it was heartening to see them there. Previously we used to collect them from the self same site when we were kids, and kept one for 3 days until it escaped into the garden.
OK back to holiday tv, My parents had the room with the TV so if you wanted to see anything you needed to get a hold of the remote and go surfing. Sadly English channels bottomed out around Channel 17 with half either fuzz or the ominous no signal. The rest were German TV and were nothing to write home about, sorry Germans. English was BBC Northern Ireland (previously Ulster), an Intermittent ITV though thats a blessing seeing the shit they put out, and various guest channels, (German Eurosport and Sky News) with rolling coverage of Raoul Moat "heroically" blasting his wife, her lover, and a blameless Police Officer before doing the world a big favour and shooting his own steroid addled brains out with a shotgun. As you can see I have little time for the cunt.
No if you wanted different you had to tune into Spanish TV. A mix of TV news and Telenovela Spain never disappoints, mainly because they're the only people to have decent kids TV in the mornings. Oh and Doraemon in Catalan. Its divided up into TVE, Cinco and Siete as main stations, and is based on a mix of dubbed imports (an impressive Stargate Atlantis comes to mind and a patchy Simpsons with Marge and Lisa being spot on but Apu sounding not unlike Mr Burns), home grown Loose Women type shows and crappy lottery game style shows.
Worse was the TV shopping shows, this includes a Gold for Euro advert, seeing as that pox has reached Europe too. Psychics, including the old, the fat and someone who worryingly looked like Jo Brand. All with a mix of contact ads underneath, so if you don't want your palm read you could always ring up for a fat mature (shudders).
Best of all is Aprende Ingles a station dedicated to teaching the Spanish, English. Run by Richard Vaughan a Texan, who is the spitting image of dead comedian Bill Hicks if he'd lived to his 50's.
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| Richard Vaughan |
Bill, sorry Richard is the host for most of the shows and is largely there to promote English use amongst the Spanish. However for kids there's Davey the Dog. Davey is of course no ordinary dog, being host Marcus Giovanni in a dogsuit. Yugioh! fans may remember Joey in a similar suit, well this dude does it for real, not only that but he sings Old Mac Donald and various songs. Its utterly funny but for all the wrong reasons, a proper Meme in motion that would only require a dedicated 4Channer to turn into an internet phenomenon.
Last but not least there is an unknown show that
seems to involve either something from Dig dug or Black and White Minstrels. Videoclip of course later.
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| Bill Hicks Uncanny huh. |
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