Stage 3 as we left it was rather normal no real flubs just being rather too long and no real checkpoints. Oh and joy of joys a piranha plant as boss. One which can make fists magically appear and float across and attack you.
Which leaves the final level (apparently thats why its called Mario 4, four levels see.) and oh boy is it a stinker.
Looking like the bastard son of Adventure Island and playing sort of like every B list platformer you come to know and love its the pinnacle of bad design. There are leaps of faith, ill positioned enemies and water that'll seemingly kill you without a second glance. It also reduces the bloober enemies from Mario to humble stepping stones. There are further short gaps to kill you off and at the end a terrifying bear as a boss (alright predictable bear as boss). Your reward for all this. Mario indulges in some pocket pool while unfitting music plays. Overall 52%
Are you a non discerning member of the LGBT community, a masochist or simply Terry Wogan then you won't have failed to notice that its Eurovision time again (and that the fact is its over and won by Germany, but we won't dwell on that). The BBC were hyping up our chances to win, it seems our song was done by legendary producers Lock Stock and Walkman, (Mike Stock, and Pete Waterman and Steve Crosby) after hearing our song That sounds good to me, Crosby, Stills and Gash. Considerable Radio 2 play made the fucker inescapable, with every presenter saying its a great song, though it wasn't, which made it all the more awful.
Hopefully next year we get Poland, or the Ukraine to do our entry, they always put some nutter forward (subs please check) up on stage, so next year, its a full comeback for Timmy Mallet, in a Tinfoil hat and massive, massive specs, and nothing else.