In case you are foreign or living under a rock we have the results of London's mayoral election (and Liverpool's if I recall correctly). Of course there are a few candidates but it mainly splits down to what Bill Hicks always called the puppet on the Left and the puppet on the Right. The lefts puppet is called Bus Busdriverson (Sadiq Khan) and is of course blaming everything on "Tory cuts", he seems a nice enough guy even if, and this is just me, he looks a lot like an Asian Phillip Schofield. I kinda want to Photoshop in a Gordon the Gopher to his campaign picture but cannot for the life of me get on with Photoshop.
The puppet on the right is of course Ballsac Fishpaste (Zac Goldsmith) son of Referendum Party's Jammy Fishpaste and Billionaire boy. His campaign is about a vertical Crossrail and business but largely dirty tricks against Bus Busdriverson and his Muslim roots. Put it this way if you ever have to result to personal attacks and that you have nothing worth saying. Ever.
The Libdem candidate Potty Pigeon (Caroline Pigeon) and the Greens Sian (Rasp) Berry were my first and second choice. They didn't get in but their policies were more toward what I would normally vote for as I'm basically a middle of the road fence sitter liberal.
The far right and UKIP had their candidates including an actual Disco Vicar BNP bloke, an ape in UKIP's case and you archetypal knuckle dragger for Britan First. I don't want a party that will speak for the Christian minority when I myself am not a Christian. No one speaks up for an Atheist Minority which I can assure you there are far less of than Christians. Finally we have the Feminazi party peddling the old 77% wage gap myth and women's rights. I'm not against women's rights at all, I've just learned to fear the word feminist due to obese 3rd wavers throwing tantrums.
If you want to know how it all turned out Wikipaedia has the breakdown you require here.
(Edit cleared up some typos and that proof reading huh!).