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Sunday 31 May 2015

TXK

So we finally got this to download and install.  Its an awful lot of work that for once was basically only a download code on a receipt.  We are down my aunts place in the country and decided to take advantage of her Wifi to do bits and pieces and install a few things on my Vita while I can.

I was going to write a massively long post about this being a bastard to do on PSN but once I worked out that my email had to be lower case then it was plain sailing from there.  Code was redeemed and the whole thing downloaded without a hitch.

If you have not guessed (or Googled this) already then I'll say one thing, this is a Jeff Minter game, if you aren't a big retro fan step away its not for you.  Loading this up and hearing some storming acid blaring out of a vector style title screen, you know this is going to be great.  Looking at the credits and seeing basically an old school ascii art of some sheep along with credits to Eugene Jarvis and Benoit Mandelbrot, I get the feeling this is what a rework of Llamatron or Ancipital would look like instead of another revision of Dave Theurers Tempest.

Music is another thing that they get right, whether its a full scale acid or hardcore or even some less frenetic house and trance tracks, there is a full credit listing for all music and a bandcamp page if you wish to buy it.

Of course this means nothing if the gameplay isn't that great and I can happily say that it is.  It gets hard, fast but that is part of the appeal, it will not hold your hand or make it easy its old school and fun.  You have to shoot everything that moves while moving round the grid, please make full use of the analogue nubs as it makes it easier (not much but it does) and collect the little plus signs for power ups.  You'll get a smart bomb, a better laser and an A.I droid that looks a lot like a pollen grain
under intense magnification. Worth the wait of me keeping hold of this,  a deserved 9 yaks out of 10.

Finally here is a few late round up articles,  EA are going to add women players to their popular yearly football cash cow, something I've wanted for ages.  I can only hope they'll be a lesbian equivalent of this previously homoerotic glitch. 
Also a bit of confirmation bias here but here is a bit on Liz Jones about teh Pr0n in the Fail on Sunday, if you've read here long enough then you'll know my stance on porno.

Monday 25 May 2015

I'll knock you up a GUI in Visual Basic

Its the last episode of CSI apparently.  Its true that both Miami and New York versions have long been cancelled (that's where the headings from) but after 15 seasons this is apparently the end of CSI.
You are apparently getting a TV movie with the CSI Cyber spin off with Patricia Arquette in it coming later on, but if you want anymore that's it.

Sad to see it go really but Channel 5 have really dicked it about, shifting it from its Tuesday time slot to a Saturday one at 10PM or later, luckily 5USA have been showing it at 9pm so its not too bad.  They previously showed CSI New York on Saturdays and always had Vegas on Tuesday's.

Seeing as its the last episode, I'll provide a biased review as it touches on a few of my pet likes.

Its part of the Gig Harbour killer storyline the final showdown if you will.  With Nick off to San Diego to be CSI boss there (reluctantly I might add) its up to Ted Danson to catch the killer.  Sadly he's now sporting some dodgy Rolf Harris beard and I keep wanting him to break out into a few of Rolf's catchphrases instead of mope about the lab.

If you ever liked the bit where they zoom into a grainy CCTV image and capture a pristine HD shot of a license plate from its reflection in a mirror will love this bit, they have a machine that takes vibrations from plants (and surrounding surfaces) and recreates the sounds in the room from these microvibrations.  Its supposed to catch what the pimp and the killers dad was saying, but to me they could have hired a lip reader to work out what he said.  

Previous to that though they have "Artemis Bloom" pollen on some home made rope as a lead.  Sadly I knew this to be further bollocks as soon as Hodges brought up a picture of a plant in question, cue a picture of a Matucana cactus possibly Aureifolia.  The killers dad was growing them in some shady old greenhouse out in the country, I'm pretty sure you could grow it outside in Nevada as its a Peruvian species and the two climates aren't that different.

In the end DB Russell got his man but at the expense of losing Finlay thanks to the killer and, Stokes left for San Diego.  To be honest I'll miss it.

Sunday 24 May 2015

Romford Junk Tour

This is an odd trip out for a number or reasons, firstly due to network (de)rail works, I couldn't go my normal route out on the District Line to Elm Park, but had to go via Canning Town and its a long old trip It was also the MCM Comic con at Excel centre so at least half of the train was already in cosplay mode and as I don't bring my phone with me out and about I'll have to describe what I saw with my own two eyes.

Highlights include:

Fat Batman. Not overweight or strange like something from say a Lousy Pandah cartoon but just tubby, he was with some tattooed anime ladies and as my love of anime died sometime mid 2003 I couldn't place them.

Joker in a wheelchair. Not the rather suave Jack Nicholson Joker, but the full on Mental Heath Ledger Version.  Basically its some special needs guy in whiteface and lipstick grin.  If you are going to be anyone and are disabled then Professor X surely.  Which leads us to.

X Men. Would you actually credit it I saw a disabled guy as  Charles Xavier along with a big guy as Beast, there was a Mystique with her too.  He looked completely cool as well.

Some Fat Ugly Cat Girls.  If you have ever seen modern Anime you will know this is a thing along with maids.  Now picture some Tumblr feminist types in full costumes with piercings and make up you'll see the revulsion creep in.

Old Mario and Luigi.  Basically some old guys dressed up as Mario and Luigi from the SMB games, kinda what they would look like now.

A few jailbait types in short skirts god knows how old and what character they came as and to be fair it didn't really matter.

Moving on the Age UK shop at Canning Town actually has a pretty good line up of  PS2 games for sale this for once does not include any Fifa games and I picked up Neo Geo Coliseum for £3 and passed on Okami and Crimson Sea 2 from Koei. I urge all East London Retro gamers to at least Check it out.

Romford was a bit of a disappointment, I did manage to pick up a book I've been wanting for ages but the centre was packed out with people queuing up to meet Joey Essex at a book signing (Yes he has a book out and you thought he couldn't write ;>) ).

Having a look at the phones in stock at Game and CEX I decided enough was enough and got the bus back to civilisation.



Sunday 17 May 2015

Lakeside

Decided to take myself out to Essex's one and only out of town mall and with a bit of nostalgia for you thrown in too. Opening up in the early 90's this was the first real big out of town mall in our area, true there was Bluewater that was much closer but that didn't appear to the late 90's early 2000's so it doesn't count.

Its three floors of shopping experience but the top floor is given over to restaurants and diners so it doesn't count. What you're here for is some gaming reminiscences aren't you. Well pull up a chair as all of these are now long gone.

This used to be a good place for video gaming in the mid 90's I got Parasol Stars from here as a Christmas present and we hilariously lost the car (a bright orange Volvo 340) in one of the open air car parks, incidentally there was an independent game store up on the first floor that had a rolling demo of Parasol stars on the Amiga, can remember the music and level 3's boss (a Nessie with a Volcano on its back) they also had a Super Gloveball for the NES as one of the few imports available, even though it used the worse than useless Power Glove to control it.

Down in the Brompton road spin off mall they had what I think used to be That'z Entertainment which had a small stall in the hall at Romford up until last year, they sold me a few Import games including SF2 Turbo (complete with PAL cart in the box for a pittance) and Super Buster Bros (actually Super Pang from Mitchell corp). They had a bargain bin out front that for some reason always had late era VCS carts in there, can remember Klax and some Tetris alike (apparently its Acid Drop and was released in 1992) and they later moved onto the first floor with a proper shop.  They had Bleem for Dreamcast which was nice.

They used to lay on a special bus to get us over there back in the day, but if you south Londoners want the same experience you can either use the DLR and change trains at West Ham and get off at Elm Park and catch the 372 or carry on to either Hornchurch or Upminster and catch the 370 instead.  Either way its an nice ride out in the country through farm land and a few villages (I always thought Rainham was more substantial) there are no real game shops apart from game and Brompton road has turned into a mega cinema but as someone who hasn't been back for more than a few years its not bad.


Sunday 10 May 2015

Junk Tour and android shenanigans

You probably have seen the last post about contacting Virgin Media, well they contacted me in the end shortly after I had come back from voting.  Offering a nice bait of 50 Meg Broadband and a free £5 phone chip chucked in that was simply too much for me and I literally bit their hand off asking for a sign up.  The chip came yesterday after I had gone out so was a nice surprise waiting for me when I got in.

We decided to look around Stratford before going on one of my well worn haunts to Walthamstow to see what could be had for around about the £100 mark for a used phone as quite frankly my work phone is a piece of shit.  Of course this rules out iPhone (the fact it needs iTunes and there's no emulators unless you hack it is the final nail in their overpriced coffin) and Blackberry (the TRS 80 of smart phones, no support, and what games there are aren't free, consider this when work switched phone providers, I didn't bother adding blackberry world to my phone).  It leaves Android which I kinda like seeing as everything gets ported there after a fashion and Windows phone (the new blackberry i.e third place and with little support go on M$ give 'em Xbox live games its the least you can do).

Poking around Cex and the likes is actually quite fun, Stratford has for sale in the tiny mall across from Westfield (never liked) a limited edition 20th anniversary PS4 yours for £1325.  There were a few Samsung smart watches for sale and a few of their flagship phones for around the £600 mark.  Apple had their iPhone 6 on sale too (its the horse sized Plus model not the normal one) with real gold trim for £650.  We did pick up Disgaea 3 for Vita but it turned out to be a bust as they shipped the sequel instead so we had to return it.

I've narrowed it down to a few possibilities which I'll have to research but Samsung S3 is now around the £100 mark, a mate of mine had one and he absolutely loves it, and the Blackbastard Z10 can sideload Android APKs (despite Blackberry being awful), finally I saw an Amazon Fire phone, which if its anything like amazon products it'll be full of Amazon rubbish you can't get rid of without rooting.  All I want really is a droid phone that calls rarely and plays apk files just like Bluestacks does.

Finally a few links and shouts out to end your day.

Want to see Nintendo's new employees brochure for 2015?

I know its the Daily Cunting Mirror but its an article about a Victor Lewis Smith phone prank on Princess Di and Stephen Hawkings. Also rerun of 1990 show on Radio 4 Extra.

Android motocade

Writing this offline as I've finally added my Virgin Superhub* instead of my trusty router, and have yet to get it activated.  Of course when this is up and live, so to speak, won't really matter but my stumbling block was a schoolboy error of putting the Ethernet cable (missus).  For those wanting to follow in my footsteps there is a really clear diagram up on the Virgin media website (setting up your hub) or you can read on.

Instead of plugging the Ethernet cable into the socket nearest the coaxial cable, you have to plug it into the socket furthest away from it.

Really not looking forward to calling as I suck on the phone, I basically have to write out a script near enough to get the actual words to come out right.  Much better to email except I can't and it reroutes to the Virgin Broadband activation page which fails, (The router was chucked out a while back and I finally got it working today) currently its offline (I'm guessing it's timed out) and will see if I can chain it up as a proxy to my old router.

The reason I did this is because I found out there is no way of making my Vita work in wired mode, I would love a simple solution of trading stuff from PSN using my wired network but its not so.  The simple idea would be to download stuff to you Vita when its plugged into you PC piggybacking off the network but it doesn't work like that.  I'd also like to download stuff to your desktop direct and put it on your memory card direct, but I'm guessing that would lead to piracy ; )

The last item is a revisit to the world of Android gaming.  We downloaded the ARC extension for Chrome which in theory allows you to play APK files in your browser, but in reality fails miserably at the task.  We have a few files from the Writing this offline as I've finally added my Virgin Superhub instead of my trusty router, and have yet to get it activated.  Of course when this is up and live, so to speak, won't really matter but my stumbling block was a schoolboy error of putting the Ethernet cable (missus).  For those wanting to follow in my footsteps there is a really clear diagram up on the Virgin media website (setting up your hub) or you can read on.

Instead of plugging the Ethernet cable into the socket nearest the coaxial cable, you have to plug it into the socket furthest away from it.

Really not looking forward to calling as I suck on the phone, I basically have to write out a script near enough to get the actual words to come out right.  Much better to email except I can't and it reroutes to the Virgin Broadband activation page which fails, (The router was chucked out a while back and I finally got it working today) currently its offline (I'm guessing it's timed out) and will see if I can chain it up as a proxy to my old router.

The reason I did this is because I found out there is no way of making my Vita work in wired mode, I would love a simple solution of trading stuff from PSN using my wired network but its not so.  The simple idea would be to download stuff to you Vita when its plugged into you PC piggybacking off the network but it doesn't work like that.  I'd also like to download stuff to your desktop direct and put it on your memory card direct, but I'm guessing that would lead to piracy ; )

The last thing item is a revisit to the world of Android gaming.  We downloaded the ARC extension for Chrome which in theory allows you to play APK files in your browser, but in reality fails miserably at the task.  We have a few files from the apkonpc website an “alternative google play shop” that has a lot of files for testing out.  The downside is that none work,  they reach a point where they load and then fail.  In the end we downloaded Bluestacks and gave that a go where it loaded everyone, with some bitching.

The way of doing that is of course to side load them from a folder on your pc and when Bluestacks is loaded simply right click on them and then choose to add them to Bluestacks.

Tested,
Sine Mora: moaned about it not being purchased from an app store like a queen.
Disgaea D2 (not the real one but is an absolutely terrible fan game and was deleted in seconds)
A pachislot based on The Ring, required an additional thing from Mobage and then google app store again, before being told that its not available in your country (seriously it's 2015 and region blocking still happens, why is this still happening).

Monster Strike.  Works and took a billion updates, not a bad mix of monsters and pool if we're honest though the game is over in seconds and there is some bull about a time countdown but that's par for the course working with free 2 play.

Kotoba. Chan.  Japanese language trainer which is quite fun and let us play will be looking for more of these as I'm seriously going to knuckle down for more of these.  website an “alternative google play shop” that has a lot of files for testing out.  The downside is that none work,  they reach a point where they load and then fail.  In the end we downloaded Bluestacks and gave that a go where it loaded everyone, with some bitching.

The way of doing that is of course to side load them from a folder on your pc and when Bluestacks is loaded simply right click on them and then choose to add them to Bluestacks.

Tested,
Sine Mora: moaned about it not being purchased from an app store like a queen.
Disgaea D2 (not the real one but is an absolutely terrible fan game and was deleted in seconds)
A pachislot based on The Ring, required an additional thing from Mobage and then google app store again, before being told that its not available in your country (seriously this still happens why is this still happening).


*Actually its still my old router as its very flaky once added, I didn't bother calling either.

Sunday 3 May 2015

Bank Holiday Junk Tour

Haven't written about this in a while and have been understandably preoccupied with my Vita.  So here goes.

We took a trip out to Croydon, a place that has always been a bit hit and miss for me, over the weekend.  There are a few routes in from where I live and I decided to take the one via Beckenham as its been ages since I've been there too.  Was a good idea too as I picked up a few good CD's from the charity shop not limited to, Sign Nobukazu Takemura, and a live set from Cut Chemist which was awesome.

As the bus was going to be ages I decided to get  the tram for the first time in my life.  For the uninitiated its a weird mix of bus and train, able to run on rails in the road or on dedicated tracks.  Its quite comfortable actually and costs the same as a regular bus trip. One annoying thing is the constant automated messages of buying a ticket, there are card readers on the station but not actual physical barrier like in the Tube or most rail or DLR stations, I suspect you could blag your way into Croydon without paying depending of the frequency of the ticket officers doing their rounds.

Croydon itself is just the same as it ever was, stuffed full of  Christian weirdos and the odd band (sadly no UKIP even though its election year) and a glance around the independent game shops picked up a few things that I didn't want or already had.  We got an excellent picture of a Cormorant from the charity shop which has a nonsense rhyme on it from Christopher Isherwood.  Finally we were still looking for a link cable for our PS Vita to no bloody success at all. I suspect I may have to transfer stuff via Memory card if at all.  We got a download for TXK so will have to work out how to redeem and rework.  God I hate the modern era.