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Thursday 26 December 2013

Boxing Day review.

Here is part two of our holidays special.  Incidentally why do Americans say that, its only Christmas really and Hanukkah if your Jewish the rest of the religions really don't bother with this time of year at all.  No one really cares about Kwanzaa and Eid was ages ago I know we have a big Muslim population here and its taken seriously.  Enough moaning here is my pick of the year music and book wise first up

BOOKS.

I've read a few good stuff this year and its not all non fiction.  IUCNs book on threatened creatures is a damn good read though, check out the web version to see what is endangered.

Most of the time I've been reading Lee Childs excellent Jack Reacher novels in which the peripatetic ex redcap rocks up in town to solve a crime and bust heads, I've started on 61 hours and looks like its going to be ace.  There is a film of One Shot where Scientology Midget Tom Cruise makes a good fist of being Reacher despite him being knee high to a grasshopper.

MUSIC

Listen to a lot of music and such so here goes, good stuff first as always, and a hearty kick to the bollocks for all our losers.  First up Commercial music.

Award for Best song never sung by Fred Ventura goes to

Daft Punk Get Lucky. Featuring Nile Rodgers and Pharrell Williams and whenever I hear it I hear it sung by Fred Ventura with his thick Italian accent.

Best neosoul sung by a wife beater.  Fine China Chris Brown.

Forgot all about this but its a rather nice song sung by an utter cunt.  Lovely break down  that reminds me of the eighties and there have been a lot of tracks that have tried to take me back there.

Best song in need of something extra. Drake Hold On we're going home.

He has an ace voice and this is a good song that for me is just getting going.  I've tried tabbing off in youtube and bringing up old synth demos but so far nothing really matches the sound in my head when I hear this.  Even worse there isn't really a clean acapella so I can add the massive synth breakdown it requires.

Best song to come from New Zealand Lordes Royals.

We just wanna be Roy L. Gay Goose shagging in the back seat. We drive cadilac in our dreams. Ha ha ha.

Best rap about charity Shops. Macklemore Thrift Shop.

Not only does it remind me of where I get half of my music nowadays it also reminds me that this along with Lordes has a great message that it isn't bankrupting yourself for the weekend trying to get wrecked and waking up with god knows who on a sunday morning.  -1000 goes to Macklemore himself explaining that his name is pronounced Mack Le More as it makes him sound like a massive bellend.

LOSERS

Wrecking Ball sMiley Virus Cyrus

Is this a thing now I don't care about her twerking at MTV and I don't care about this song. However I do care enough to put up a picture of a bootleg towel of her.
Its the face on this that creeps me out.
Robin Thicke Blurred Lines

Don't care about the controversy of the video having some naked chicks in it Mirwais did it first. Don't really care that its much of a dull song, no its that Thicke comes across as the biggest bellend ever. #FUCK OFF.

Michael Buble Christmas Album.

Mr Insincerity himself manages to ruin Jingle Bells, which admittedly takes some doing, but he and the Puppini Sisters manage it with some aplomb.

Avici Hey Brother.
For the heinous act of marrying bland trance with Country music, two genres that should never cross.

Jason the Rolo Trumpets.
Just vile, but has one redeeming feature in that it reminds me of this old nonsense.

MY UNDERGROUND Winners for this year are.

Paranoid London. Paris Dub 2. You'll want the original demo of this as its an acid monster.
Altern8 Activ8. Unsuccessful Christmas Number One this year which was a shame. The mixes were largely lame as well except for one nice acid remix that was the boss.  There was the Obligitory dubstep mix as well which was total bollocks.
D'Marc Cantu. Tanzakuro. But mainly for the 150bpm monster acid track speedfreak that sounds like mid west style tracks by Woody McBride.
The Orb, Solid Steel mix, The Orb FACT mix with Lee Scratch Perry.  Both mixes are absolute genius and are liberally filled with the Orbs lovely plunderdelic style of dub house (Louis Armstrong, The Cranberries and quite a bit of Scratch I can here).  They're both available for free either on Soundcloud or from FACTs site and well just check em they're awesome.

Finally ASMR stuff. Not sure what it stands for but it largely relaxes and gives me the weirdest boner at the same time.  Its largely hot women whispering in your ear for about 30 minutes, in some sort of  non sexual role play role, I.E crystal healer or heavy breather, their aim is of course total relaxation.  We like Heather Feather and Queen of Serene both should be listened to with headphones in for maximum effect and in some place quite, though I have listened to both whilst working to chill me out.


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